Sunday, September 16, 2012

Faking happiness: Show-off or real?

Read the First part : Are you happy?
You dont need to be better than others just be the best for the right person.

We are always in a race. We want to get ahead of our friends, colleagues, siblings and everyone else. We do all those absurd things to prove our superiority. But really do we have to? We forget that the world is round and not a flat line. Can anyone tell me who is first, who is last in the circle? We all are running around in circles and expecting to come first!

We are too rigid in our life. We try to live life on our own terms. There are very few blessed people who can do that. Most of us are not that strong. We have our own conditions of acceptance for almost all areas of our life. Yesterday I was talking to a person whom I admire & respect a lot. I liked one of the comment made. Ferrari is the symbol of engineering perfection. But will we get real happiness if we drive Ferrari with a stranger who doesn’t care about us?  Travelling in an auto rickshaw ( will be far more rewarding if we are with people who can understand the spoken words & the un-spoken feelings. We may work hard all life to get Ferrari with our strict conditions and rules but in this process we may alienate the people who love us.  We will show our Ferrari to all our friends & relatives but deep within we will be poor.

Some time back I read an article about a lady in china. She had her own share of failures in life.  Her college mates had planned a get together, invited her also.  She was not ready to face her old friends with her failures in life and relationships. She put an ad in one of the Chinese social networking sites.  She was willing to spend a night with anyone who had a BMW and willing to accompany her for the function. Her social rating would have soared for one night when she goes out with her rich boyfriend driving a BMW. Will she get real happiness by that show –off? Deep within, she will be cursing herself. She was faking happiness.

Even though most of don’t go up to this extend but aren’t we doing the same at some level? We are saying no to small happiness because our social rating conscious ego doesn’t allow it.
These are some of the real life questions which I heard from few of my friends and relatives. I cannot disclose the names or identity but all are real ones.

  • How can I be in a job which pays less than my friend who was not intelligent as me?  The job will be the most suited for us with satisfaction and mental piece but no we have to get ahead of our buddies to show our salary slip. In new job we may lose our piece of mind but who cares… our ego wins.
  • How can I marry someone who is not as handsome as my best friend’s husband? How can I marry a person who doesn’t have the physique of a model to which my sister was married? 
  • I studied up to BTech; how can I marry a mere Software Engineer in India when my colleague’s sister who had only a mere undergraduate degree married a team leader with L1 visa!!!
  • How can I live in a 2BHK flat when my subordinate just purchased a 4BHK flat? 

What are we trying to prove – that we have a better salary; that our partners are better looking with great physique & intelligence. We are faking happiness sin front of our friends, sisters, brothers, relatives, subordinates but deep within we are hammered every second. We regret the wrong decisions we took but we don’t have the courage to rectify that.  We live a life of misery and unhappiness only because our ego didn’t allow it. Our ego may win but we will lose in this race.

Pause for a second, look at you, the life you are living. Are you happy with it? Adjust your conditions to allow love and happiness to prosper. Open the doors & windows. Let happiness come and embrace you.  You may not win the ego race but you will win the life’s race.

P.S.: When i was writing this article i saw a very good image in Facebook. I have attached it to the article. I Hope it it royalty free.

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