Saturday, October 03, 2015

You just gotta ignite the light And let it shine Just own the night..

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under screams
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come and show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come and let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em falling down down down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come and show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come and let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
And it's always been inside of you you you
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come and show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come and let your colors burst
Make 'em go "oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe awe awe

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Wake Me Up - best song of 2013

I cant stop listening this... I always come back to this ... but wake me up before i am older and wiser. Life is all about making mistakes. We cannot be perfect. Unless we make mistake , we haven't lived. Live through mistakes, that's when we are alive.

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands
Hope I get the chance to travel the world
But I don't have any plans

Wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is the prize

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

Didn't know I was lost
I didn't know I was lost
I didn't know I was lost
I didn't know (didn't know, didn't know)

Monday, November 18, 2013

साए_की_तरह_आई_वोह..उस परी की याद मे

उस परी की याद मे... फिर के नाम
उस खूबसूरत चाँद की याद मे जिसे देख चांदनी भी शर्माये......

छोड़ गयी मुझे इस बेरहम दुनिया मे,
दीन का  उज़ाला लूट  लिया
रात का अँधेरा छोड़ दिया 
साए की तरह आई वोह ....

लोगों का कहना है 
चांदनी बड़ी खुबसूरत  है
रौशनी को छोड़, लोग अँधेरे को पूजते  है
हमे क्या पता, दीन या रात कौन खुबसूरत
हमे तो बस अँधेरे में जीना है

छोड़ यादों को आया इस दूर
भीड़ में, इस अनजाने शहर मे 
लेकिन यादों ने साथ ना छोडा 
साए ने भी साथ ना छोडा

जला डाला तेरी तस्वीर इस सौच मे
की तेरी याद अब ना आईगी
पर कैसे मीठा सकू उस तसवीर को
जो मेरे रूह में बस गई है

दिल को मनाया कई बार
पर दिल मे एक कसक सी लगी है
एक अजब सी बेचैनी है
वह ना जीने देथी है ना मरने

अजनबी गलियो में भटक रहा हू
अपने ही घर का पता ढूँढ रहा हू
इस कश्म्कश में ना जाने क्या कर बैठा
ख़ुद पराया हो गया हू

किसी हमदर्द ने पूछा मेरे इस दर्द का कारण
लब्ज़ो में ना बता सका दिल का हाल
कोशिश करता तो भी क्या कहता

व्यर्थ की आशा है फीर भी यह अरमान लिए
घूम रहा हू कि एक एक बार तुमसे मिल सकूँ
अपने इस लाचारी का इलाज कर सकूँ
मेरे इस अधूरे जीवन को पूरा कर सकूँ
अपने आप से मिल सकू

साए की तरह आई वोह…

- अभिलाष चन्द्र 

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Why only Delhi?

The tragedy of the 23 year old brave heart of Delhi who died after the barbaric act of few criminals has evoked response from all parts of the country. People held marches, candle light vigils & a widespread protest in social media. With the continuous spotlight the culprits behind this heinous crime will get the punishment. But is that all we need? Have we learned our lesson?

It surprised me that even with this high voltage spotlight on crimes against women nothing has changed. 25 rapes reported were reported while nation protested against Delhi gang rape ( Even a reporter who went to protest was groped!!! ( Shouldn’t we protest for them also? A chemical castration & death penalty for the accused will give a strong message but it will not solve the real problems. The mindset of our community has to change.

We have to stop treating women as commodity.
Give respect to the womenfolk
Come out of your shell. Act before something similar happens to your family.

I was browsing my blog & I found an article which I wrote 4 years back. Rape:The national crime of India and other countries Surprisingly nothing has changed.

Change yourself before you change the world.

Treat your sister, mother, girlfriends & other women with respect & courtesy.

India’s patriarchal society & the dark fate of women

Saw English Vinglish ( today. It was a great movie. I was moved by the theme & the strong performance by the cast.
This was a different story from a patriarchal society where women fear to go out after dark, where female infanticide is rampant. It was the story of many Indian families. I could see my mother. I could see many mothers in that.
Last year I wrote an article on this subject. I am re-posting this after few minor changes.

Indian culture is a patriarchy which thinks that men should dominate everywhere. We treat women as second class citizens who cannot think or act independently!!! Their ordeal starts even before they are born. We talk about awareness on this sensitive topic. But in a typical traditional Indian family where is the chance for such awareness? Which family gives priority to such ideals? We prefer high grades in exams but what about the awareness and sensitivity towards other lives around us? Which is the right place for such awareness? Is home the best place or at school? Schools will be more interested in securing prizes in so called cultural meets and reality shows but it’s very rare that we hear about any such cultural education being given to the younger generation.

 This discrimination is a very common sight in most of the Indian families. Even when a girl child is in mother’s womb the so called rules and regulations are created in the family. She can’t do this she can’t do that. It is against our tradition. No women in our family did that …… the list goes on. I can even compile a book bigger than the encyclopedias with such don’t do list.

A lot of ladies talk about liberation, equality etc. but do they practice this? I believe if a change has to happen around us, first of all we have to change. There is no meaning in complaining about the inequalities in society if we ourselves don’t act on the principles we are preaching. There are many instances when I argued with my mom when she tried to enforce such rules on my sister. It’s anyone guess who won the argument. I lost heavily. There was no constraint on the education, love or any such things in our family among us children. Even my sister got a lot of freedom which is rarely available to other girl child in our society. I appreciate my mom and dad for that. But was she free to do all the things I was allowed to do? Certainly my sister cannot complain but there was this slight difference. She had a second grooming in cooking and other such other small household jobs. This is certainly good but soon it became her duty to do such things when no one was around; I was never asked to do any such thing. Even when I volunteered, many times I was asked to do something suitable for boys; cooking and other such house hold jobs were for womenfolk. No one complained when I did cooking, washing and other such household jobs. But such occasions were very rare. (Life gave me another opportunity to learn cooking but that's another story)

I was very fortunate that I didn't see much discrimination in my family. But this is not the case in most of the other families. Girls are not allowed to study, they are not allowed to go out or mingle with others. In many parts of our country girls are kept like animals. They don’t have proper food, clothes, education. They are not even allowed to dream. Even when such basic things amenities are given she is under tremendous pressure. With 24x7 monitoring by family I don’t think most of them would even get a chance to breathe freely. With such pressure many don’t express their likes and dislikes. They are merely the puppets in the hands of their “strict” family. In my professional and personal life also I have seen many who fear expressing their likes and dislikes. With a heavy baggage of the big don’t do list we cannot expect them to fight the discrimination. They are always at disadvantage. From this perspective, men think that women are weak. They can do whatever they like and they are just another instrument to satisfy their wishes. I cannot complain because no one told them otherwise. From childhood they are fed this notion that they are superior and women are second class citizens with no voice to protest, complain or express their likes and dislikes.

We can find the equality in almost all spheres of our life. If we look in our modern families we will see many working super moms who manage the office work and house. How many men help them in their daily “jobs”? In a family the onus should be on both. Men should also take equal responsibility is raising children and doing other household jobs. Many “learned” people believe that women should only do the things allowed by our “culture”. They have to first take care of the children and house. True, I agree but what about the menfolk don’t they have any culture or dharma? When men stay late in parties drinking alcohol they are called sophisticated and when women do such things they are called immoral!!!! (Personally I don’t drink or smoke so usually I don’t get invitations for such parties but still I cannot stop comparing the different perspective.). There are many such examples. Such notions of using different yardstick for same actions should be eliminated from our minds.

Women take leave (or even resign) from their job to look after the children & family. How many appreciate this sacrifice? Didn't she study & work hard for her future? And why only she was asked to sacrifice her dreams? Many will say that it’s the duty of the women but isn't there any duty of men towards this? Have we even heard menfolk taking leave or resigning from job to look after children or family for a long duration?
Surprisingly many educated highly paid women also don’t object to any such discrimination. In many cases they are not even allowed to manage their own salary. I know a person whose wife is earning as much as he earns. He operates the salary account & all the debit cards of his wife. If she needs any money she will have to ask her husband!!! The accounts of many bachelorettes are managed by their father or someone else from their family.  I cannot understand this logic. When they can earn so much why are they not allowed to manage their own finances?  I don’t think fathers or wives or any other relatives will even dream to manage or operate the accounts of any man.

The attitude and approach of a gentleman who has seen equality at his home will be far different. If the parents teach with action that boy and girl has equal rights and should respect each other’s decisions, wishes then the world will be different place to live altogether. Many men are initially shocked when they see women expressing their ideas and wishes. In their family they never experienced this. So they take shelter in old Indian "culture" (but I wonder do they really know the meaning of culture.) and insult women with their words and actions.

My request

For young Mothers 

Please burn that old “don’t do list”. Treat your children equally. If you deny something to a girl child, justify and use the same logic with your son also. If your son can do it then surely your daughter can also do it. From the very first day teach the principles of respect, equality and love to all others without any discrimination.

For my sisters

  • Raise your voice/concern when you see the discrimination. You will face a lot of opposition but you will have to act. Once you raise your voice there will be many to help you.
  • Frown upon the lewd comments/jokes passed on you
  • Act /raise your voice when you see that your dignity is being questioned / threatened
  • Leave your friends/boy friends who have this patriarchal idea of male dominated society. This decision will only make your life better.

For all 

  • Give your voice to all those mothers and sisters who are suffering under this age old system. Help them to improve their life.
  • Respect everyone & treat them with courtesy. 
  • Don’t do (or say) anything which you don’t want to happen to your family member.
  • Spread awareness on this topic among you friends & family

N.B. – I am not part of any feminist movement. I just wrote what I believe to be true. Anyone reading this may have a different opinion. If you want to discuss I am open to any such discussions.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Faking happiness: Show-off or real?

Read the First part : Are you happy?
You dont need to be better than others just be the best for the right person.

We are always in a race. We want to get ahead of our friends, colleagues, siblings and everyone else. We do all those absurd things to prove our superiority. But really do we have to? We forget that the world is round and not a flat line. Can anyone tell me who is first, who is last in the circle? We all are running around in circles and expecting to come first!

We are too rigid in our life. We try to live life on our own terms. There are very few blessed people who can do that. Most of us are not that strong. We have our own conditions of acceptance for almost all areas of our life. Yesterday I was talking to a person whom I admire & respect a lot. I liked one of the comment made. Ferrari is the symbol of engineering perfection. But will we get real happiness if we drive Ferrari with a stranger who doesn’t care about us?  Travelling in an auto rickshaw ( will be far more rewarding if we are with people who can understand the spoken words & the un-spoken feelings. We may work hard all life to get Ferrari with our strict conditions and rules but in this process we may alienate the people who love us.  We will show our Ferrari to all our friends & relatives but deep within we will be poor.

Some time back I read an article about a lady in china. She had her own share of failures in life.  Her college mates had planned a get together, invited her also.  She was not ready to face her old friends with her failures in life and relationships. She put an ad in one of the Chinese social networking sites.  She was willing to spend a night with anyone who had a BMW and willing to accompany her for the function. Her social rating would have soared for one night when she goes out with her rich boyfriend driving a BMW. Will she get real happiness by that show –off? Deep within, she will be cursing herself. She was faking happiness.

Even though most of don’t go up to this extend but aren’t we doing the same at some level? We are saying no to small happiness because our social rating conscious ego doesn’t allow it.
These are some of the real life questions which I heard from few of my friends and relatives. I cannot disclose the names or identity but all are real ones.

  • How can I be in a job which pays less than my friend who was not intelligent as me?  The job will be the most suited for us with satisfaction and mental piece but no we have to get ahead of our buddies to show our salary slip. In new job we may lose our piece of mind but who cares… our ego wins.
  • How can I marry someone who is not as handsome as my best friend’s husband? How can I marry a person who doesn’t have the physique of a model to which my sister was married? 
  • I studied up to BTech; how can I marry a mere Software Engineer in India when my colleague’s sister who had only a mere undergraduate degree married a team leader with L1 visa!!!
  • How can I live in a 2BHK flat when my subordinate just purchased a 4BHK flat? 

What are we trying to prove – that we have a better salary; that our partners are better looking with great physique & intelligence. We are faking happiness sin front of our friends, sisters, brothers, relatives, subordinates but deep within we are hammered every second. We regret the wrong decisions we took but we don’t have the courage to rectify that.  We live a life of misery and unhappiness only because our ego didn’t allow it. Our ego may win but we will lose in this race.

Pause for a second, look at you, the life you are living. Are you happy with it? Adjust your conditions to allow love and happiness to prosper. Open the doors & windows. Let happiness come and embrace you.  You may not win the ego race but you will win the life’s race.

P.S.: When i was writing this article i saw a very good image in Facebook. I have attached it to the article. I Hope it it royalty free.

Are you happy?

Happiness is a state not a destination. We all have a misconception that if we achieve certain things in life we will be happy. We are always preparing to be happy rather than be happy. We say that if I get good education then I will be happy, then we hunt for a good job, then we say that if I buy that house I will be happy; if I get married to that superstar I will be happy. The list doesn’t ends here. You will start worrying about your children & their future also. Every day of your life you will have something to worry.

All these achievements are good but they cannot guarantee your happiness if you don’t change. Happiness is within you, you cannot find it outside.

There is a famous story about a common fisherman. Our guy was resting near seashore taking a nap. A business man in suits and tie comes and starts asking questions.

Businessman: “Why didn’t you go fishing today?”
Fisherman: “Yesterday I caught enough fish. Today I can rest and enjoy my day”
Businessman:”If you had gone fishing today, you would have caught more fish”
Fisherman:”Why should I catch more fish? I already have what I need”
Businessman:”With more fish you will have more profit and more savings. With more savings you can buy your own boat. With more profit you can buy more boats and become a successful person”
Fisherman:”What will I get from this success”
Businessman:”When you are successful you will be able to enjoy life more. You will be happier. You will be able to come to this seashore to relax more often”

Hearing this our fisherman smiled and said that he was doing exactly the same; enjoying his life, he was happy & he had enough time to spend on that beautiful place.

Like that businessman we are in pursuit of imaginary happiness.

The key to happiness is to accept the way you are. You are always special. It is our ego which says that we are good for nothing or that we are bad. You are a miracle, a living being, capable of communicating your thoughts and feelings. Open your eyes and see the blessings you have. Stop worrying about the things you don’t have.  You should still work to improve your life but that shouldn’t happen at the expense of ignoring your family & friends.  Enjoy every day of your blessed life.

  • To be happy you don’t have to be perfect
  • To be happy you don't have to be loved by everyone
  • To be happy you don’t need all your dreams to come true
  • To be happy you don’t have to meet everyone’s expectations
  • To be happy you don’t have to be always good
  • To be happy you don’t have to  hide your emotions and feelings
  • To be happy you don’t have to be the smartest and richest person
  • To be happy you don’t need a perfect figure or body
  • To be happy you don’t have to compete with anyone.
  • To be happy you don’t……

The list is very big… you can email me the rest of the items, I will add to the list.

To be happy let go your ego, open your arms and embrace the life. Accept the life as it is. Accept the real magic in you. You are a miracle. You are special. You are beautiful.

Continue reading the second part : Faking happiness: Show-off or real?

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Just start walking…

Life is a journey through dark. Very often we wait for sunlight hoping that it will remove the darkness from our life. With sunlight, life will be very easy, we can see everything; we can move forward at a great speed but in reality sun doesn’t come very often.

In the darkness even if we get a candle we can move forward. We may struggle but we will reach our destination. But almost all of us are waiting at same place waiting for the sunlight.  Show courage, have that leap of faith; grab the candle & light it. Life will be full of struggles but you will move forward. You will not be stagnant. When you reach the destination you will be happy with yourself.

Tiny footsteps will make us happier than a giant leap. Believe in yourself, take that small step forward. Darkness will vanish from the light of your soul. Just start walking…

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Tip of the day: Be kind – lead a meaningful life

Our life is full of stress with deadlines, high expectations and imaginary success ladder. In this race we often lose ourselves, our values and principles. Getting a high paid job, getting married to your dream boy/girl, having a big car and house might not lead to a satisfied life. Even getting famous with your face in newspapers, TV news etc will not make you happy.

 Our life is made of many days, the series of small acts we do everyday makes our life. You don’t have to perform miracles to make your life happy. Just do the small acts of kindness everyday and it will add up to become a great legacy. Enrich every person who passes your way; touch them in a positive manner. Make at least one stranger smile with your effort. Pray for them. Do small things with great passion and love. It is more meaningful than doing big things without passion and love.

Be sincere in your relationships. Go that extra mile for your loved ones.

Pray for the soul – the physical appearance, beauty will change or destroyed but the mental beauty of your soul will remain with you.

Be kind and lead a meaningful life.

Short story: The simple man, The God and understanding women’s mind

Many years ago, in a distant land there lived a very simple man.  People used to make fun of his dreams and his simplicity. Our simple man thought he should do something extraordinary to get peoples respect. After a lot of thought he decided that he will go the deep forest for penance. He selected a sublime place for his meditations. Gods were happy with his devotion. They decided to bless him. The supreme God appeared before him and asked him what he wanted. From childhood our simple man was fascinated with moon so he asked the God to create a highway between earth and moon so that he can reach moon easily. On hearing this strange request, the God tried to convince our simple man that for constructing such a highway it will take a lot of effort, steel, cement etc. It was nearly an impossible task.  God asked him to ask anything except this. Our simple man thought for few moments and then asked the God to give him the power to understand the mind of women. Now it was the turn of God to think. After thinking a lot God asked our man whether he preferred 4 lane highway or 6 lane highway to moon.