Sunday, December 13, 2009

Acid attacks – by the devils from hell

Today was just like any other Sundays “late to bed and late to wake up makes a Sunday worth living”.  While skimming through the newspapers an article about an acid attack victim caught my attention. Just like most of us do I paused for a moment and then continued my reading. But the image lingered on my mind throughout the day. The eyes were saying something to me. Did it complain or were there any tears in it? By evening I was quite busy into my technical research but then again the image resurfaced. It created enough ripples in my mind. I googled and the images I found shocked even my soul. I was shocked, such a heinous crime by a human being on another?




BANGLADESH. Dhaka. June 2005.Nobisa Begam. 15 Years old. Photographed three days after acid was thrown in her face for refusing a marriage proposal..(Courtesy bop.nppa.org)


What should I call these acts of violence? The perpetrators of this violence are they human or devil himself in human form? It is one of the most violent crimes against women. It is not only an act against her dignity, self respect, independence but also against the fundamental principle of humanity on which our civilized society is standing. It is a trauma that these hapless victims have to undergo everyday of their life. Everyday when they look into mirror (those who are still lucky to have their eyes after the attack many were not so luck) the pain they have undergone, the humiliation they have suffered re-surfaces.

Most of the attacks are by husbands or the people known to the victims with a major share from the so called “lovers”. I couldn’t understand how could people throw acid when a woman refuses their proposal? They say they loved and how could someone hurt some body so much? This is not committed in a fit of passion. A lot of planning is required for it. Guys if this has crossed your mind then remember it’s not worth. Love is not about taking by violence it is sacrifice of what you have. Love demands patience and sacrifice and not violence. If you have truly loved someone you will happily give your life for a single smile of your loved ones. Yow will never think about harming in any way. So if you have thought in any other fashion then you can be sure that you never loved. Even the most pure and polite approach might lead to failure but then it shouldn’t drive yourself to this crime against humanity. Pause and look around and see how many smiles, how many hopes you will kill with your action. You may be provoked to your limits but remember life has a lot of things to offer.

Angura. 30 years old, lies with her son and mother on the floor of her ward in the hospital run by the Acid Survivors Foundation in Dhaka. Her husband and another man threw acid on her and then burnt her eyes with a blowtorch after she refused her husband permission to take another woman into their home.(Courtesy bop.nppa.org)

In some places it is used as a too, to suppress women, to curtail their independence. There were reports of acid attacks on girl student in Afghanistan by the Taliban and its allies. They were against the women education and hence these attacks. Elsewhere in places like Kashmir acids were thrown on women who refused to wear the burkha. There were attacks on women by the jealous employer.  In some part of the India acid attack was used to strengthen the evil clutches of casteism.

Such news is always sensational which our media are ever ready to feed on. But after this sensation do we ever think how these people go about their life. The may get big promises of compensation and sympathy but are they fulfilled? Even if sufficient compensation is given how can we compensate the pain, the agony, the shame, the humiliation they have undergone?

How can we prevent this? We cannot stop the supply of acids. This is freely available in markets which even a child can buy for a paltry amount. The need of hour is a quality education with proper emphasize on humanity and its values. Those who commit such heinous crime should get the maximum punishment possible under law. If it was in my power I would have given a death punishment, after treatment in the same fashion an eye for an eye. I would have stoned them to death. I know I may look like a barbaric in my verdict but these crimes are worse form of barbarism.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Dec 3: Hope or tragedy?

Dec3 is personally always special to me. This year also I woke up with a smile on my lips and a song in my soul. It was just unlike any other day it was special. Sun was shining; cool breeze of December was playing in its own tune.

Soon I remembered an old story and the smile started disappearing. It was a day when many didn’t wake from their sleep. It was a day of chaos, disaster and death. It was a day when mothers didn’t know their children had died, children didn’t know their mothers had died and men didn’t know their whole families had died. It was the day when methyl isocyanate gas (MIC) escaped from the Union Carbide’s underground storage plant in Bhopal.

It was a city where I grew up, I played, I went to school. Luckily my parents moved with me to the city when I was a small kid, only after few years of the tragedy. But even now I can remember the grim tales of shock, horror and betrayal which I heard. Many of my family friends and relatives who survived the accident didn’t believe that they will actually see us again.

A picture speaks thousand words. I have posted three different pics of the tragedy. I wouldn’t have written this blog about an incident which happened 25 years ago. But after seeing these images I cried. I had promised that I wouldn’t cry again but I couldn’t control myself today. I cried for the mothers, for the children, for the fathers and for all those countless lives which were lost because of human greed.







3rd December 1984
Shortly after midnight poison gas leaked from factory in Bhopal. There was no warning; none of the plant's safety systems were working. Nearly 40 tonnes of lethal Methyl Isocyanate had escaped from the Union Carbide factory in Bhopal. The pesticide plant was shifted from America because it was ''too risky'' for Americans.

In the city people were sleeping. They woke in darkness to the sound of screams with the gases burning their eyes, noses and mouths. They began retching and coughing up froth streaked with blood. Whole neighborhoods fled in panic, some were trampled, and others convulsed and fell dead. People lost control of their bowels and bladders as they ran. Within hours thousands of dead bodies lay in the streets. 




There were mass funerals and mass cremations as well as disposal of bodies in the Narmada river. 170,000 people were treated at hospitals and temporary dispensaries. 2,000 buffalo, goats, and other animals were collected and buried. Within a few days, leaves on trees yellowed and fell off. Supplies, including food, became scarce owing to suppliers' safety fears.
Authorities estimated that the gas affected around 520,000 people. Of these, 200,000 were below 15 years of age, and 3,000 were pregnant women. In 1991, 3,928 deaths had been certified. Independent organizations recorded 8,000 dead in the first days. Other estimations vary between 10,000 and 30,000. Another 100,000 to 200,000 people are estimated to have permanent injuries of different degrees. It was a holocaust; thousands were gassed.


There were many warnings but the plan management were interested only in making $$$ for the safety of their workers was least important.



The man responsible for the Bhopal disaster, former Union Carbide CEO Warren Anderson. An international arrest warrant was issued for Anderson, who fled justice and disappeared. The US government disavowed any knowledge of his whereabouts, and was unable to locate him. Greenpeace and the The Mirror found Anderson living in New York State, under his own name, in 2002 following less than a month-long investigation. The US government has still not taken Anderson into custody. Such modern Hitler should be hanged, should be stoned to death. Are such people above the law? Is no one answerable to the lives lost? Even after so many years the survivors are fighting for justice. The pesticide residue left in the closed plant is till polluting the environment but who cares for these things?

This should have been an eye opener. But still we can find countless Bhopal in the making. If we look around we will find them. Let’s act now or should we wait for another such accident. My Brothers and sisters don’t think that this won’t happen to you or to your dear ones. This can happen anywhere. So act now.. If you don’t get anyone to protest let me know. Even if no one joins you I will come and fight along with you. I will readily give my life to prevent another Bhopal.

I still don’t understand why man is always running after money. We don’t take anything to our grave but only few sweet memories. Maybe many don’t understand this.

Why should we destroy the masterpiece of the almighty – this green plant our home. Lets us keep it safe for the nest generation. Let’s fight for the survival not for our children but for us.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

The dilemma of bachelorhood – III: My marriage - To be, or not to be




To be, or not to be: that is the question. This question is plaguing me for some time.
Everyone around me keeps reminding about this. It seems that they have only one mission left in their life.

If the marriage is so divine & special why is so much violence associated with it? Why is the divorce rate always increasing (For the time being, let’s remove the forced marriage from this discussion)?
I believe that a marriage should happen between two individuals who have mutual respect, understanding, love and affection between themselves. Is it really happening this way? Even many “love” (or lust?) marriages end in failures. I have seen some horrific violence in some of my close relatives, some to the verge of death. With one look I could see that the choice was wrong.

In many cases lives most important decision is made in few minutes without much thinking. Many believe in the matching of horoscope but I believe matching of the mind & soul should matter more. In ancient times when there was no other method of selection, the horoscope matching was the only method of selection/rejection but is it really relevant now? Even the barriers like caste, religion, language or even citizenship comes second. God didn’t create these barriers it only we humans who have created these barriers and divided the paradise created by God in this solar system and created a hell out of it.

We start about thinking about that special person when we are in teens. Did I think much about at that time? Hmm didn’t I? I had few crushes but nothing more; just a small smile that’s all. I thought that I will think about all those when I am mature enough to handle my emotions. That was the best decision I took at that time. May be it’s the overdose of the things I read but I believed (still believe) the love happens only once and should be nurtured and protected carefully. I would take a decision only after a lot of thought. If we look in nature a rice plant produce many rice seeds. In natural habitat the survival rate of seeds are very less and only a few grow into another cereal plant. In contrast a coconut tree produces much less nuts but with many layers of protection. In vast ocean many islands have only this tree. I fall into this later category. Life is so small for love and very big to fight and worry.

When I begin my career, in one of my projects I was associated with a Business Analyst. He was one of those special characters with whom many couldn’t work. Working in his team was the biggest challenge. My colleagues would have preferred Kalapanni instead. Being a little research oriented I was chosen to assist him technically in a research sort of project. I had already heard the tales of Don Quixote. I approached with apprehension. But soon we were able to work as a team and made significant progress. I stuck to my expertise of technical field and gave my big ears to him. Soon he would speak a lot of things to me & I patiently listened to all those. Sometimes I was on the verge of collapse but I held myself together (Some time I felt like kicking him from the top of the building but being a junior engineer I was pretty helpless). In few weeks actually this strategy paid off. He also started listening to me and very frequently asked my opinions on a lot matters. Sometimes I would scold him!!! The role was actually reversed!!! Anyone would have thought that I was the senior & he my junior. That’s the power of listening (not hearing).  That’s not the main point very often he would say that he is 30 and still a bachelor. In a hurry he got married. But their marriage didn’t last for even 6 months. They made the biggest mistake of rushing towards wedlock. May be the peer pressure might have worked against them. But ultimately both of them had to suffer. One should listen to the heart, analyze the pulse & take a decision and not rush into it.

In old times the engagement period was the time when the couples identified with each other, their aspirations, their passions, their dreams but now it has become a mere ceremony. Initially people could decide whether they would go forward or not. In recent times how many such cases have we heard of when the people have backed of after realizing the folly? Listen to your heart don’t think about the society. Ultimately it what we believe that matters. In western countries (many places in India also) we can see people staying together before the vows to decide whether they can spend rest of their lives together or not. I don’t think I will have to do this to decide. Till now I have kept my mind, body & soul pure for the special one, Resisted many temptations. I t was a real fight of character & wits. But I clung to my beliefs. Whether it’s mentally or physically let it be for the only one even if it’s only for few minutes.

To live happily ever after ideally one should marry their best friends with whom we can talk endlessly. All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand. Even if I am married to the most beautiful women in world within few months I will lose interest in her. Scientifically it is established that on an average the new xing or x factor lasts for around 24 months. Then something else is required, after this initial period, for the continuation. Rather than husbands and wife the couples should be best friends with whom they can share all their worries, anxieties, fear, aspiration & dreams with a belief that the other person will be around to support. There should be enough space for individualism but close enough to lean for a support after the day’s hard work. Rather than running behind money, fame, promotion we should be able to spend time with family. In India men always held had an upper hand and made all the decision for the family. Many didn’t even consult with their spouse. Men held the traditional role of bread earner and women looked after the children at home. Women were shut behind the doors and had very limited rights. Even among the well educated and successful women I have seen this submissive attitude. After marriage it seems that their life has ended. I believe it’s only a phase. Life should blossom to the highest level, should soar to the heights of happiness and love. With the changing demographics & life style I think this should be changed. Women should also get the every right enjoyed by men. They should take their own decisions and should fight (not physical I don’t believe in this, the clash should of ideas). It a companion we seek for the life’s travel not a foe or stranger. The famous Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar married life was very pious (http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/12/thiruvalluvar-ideal-person-to-emulate.html) ideally we should emulate him in our married life. The journey won’t be smooth; there will be lots of ups and downs. Parents, friends, everyone will go. Some will be replaced with framed photos. In all these difficult situations we should be around to support, to fuel the flight, to pull push when the life, to lend a helping hand, to give the shoulders to the person we said “I do”.

What type of a person will I get married?  I would give only two attributes. The person with whom I can talk endlessly who could be my best friend and who could inspire me to write poems on her. She will be the reason I would live for and the reason I would die for (http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/08/reason-i-would-die-for.html)

Is marriage the only way of salvation? Well I don’t think so. There are a lot of single people in our society who had achieved a lot. Most of my role models like Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Swami Vivekananda, Queen Elizabeth-I were single ( the list is quite big). There is more to life than getting married to some one about whom you don’t know much. Always something is not necessarily better than nothing. There are very high chances that I will end up in a monastery or with some NGO helping out others.

After the Brahmacharya, Grihastha ash-ram or Sanyas for me? Only time can tell it whether I will live as an eternal brahmachari or not. Either way life seems beautiful full of challenges ahead )

Thiruvalluvar: an ideal person to emulate in grihastha ash-ram

Thiruvalluvar was one person who always fascinated me. He was an ideal person. He was a Grihastha but was more divine and powerful than any sanyasi of his age. Thiruvalluvar showed people that a person could lead the life of a Grihastha or householder, and at the same time, lead a divine life or a life of purity and sanctity. He showed people that there was no necessity to leave the family and become a Sannyasin to lead a divine life of purity and sanctity. He expressed his philosophy in the Kural, a collection of 1330 short, pithy couplets, primarily in the form of maxims.


Hearing his stories about grihastha ash-ram  few sanyasis decided to test him. They asked Thiruvalluvar to invite them for lunch. Saint Thiruvalluvar understood their intentions. He simply kept quiet. He wanted to teach them the glory of Grihastha Ashrama by example.


When the sanyasi’s came visiting, Thiruvalluvar was taking cold rice. He said to his wife: "Vasuki, the rice is very hot. Bring a fan to cool it". Thiruvalluvar’s wife was drawing water from the well when Thiruvalluvar called her. She at once left the rope and ran to him with a fan to cool the rice. Sanyasis thought that Thiruvalluvar has gone insane; the rice was cold there was no need of fan. The vessel that contained water was hanging half-way in the well unsupported, on account of her Pativrata Dharma Shakti. Others noticed this phenomenon and the noble conduct of Vasuki and were simply struck with amazement.


The couple achieved the highest level of wisdom and divine knowledge through their devotion to each other. This is an ideal couple which we can emulate in our life

The dilemma of bachelorhood – II – Marriage


Can marriage be the silver bullet for the many problems of bachelorhood? Marriage is an institution. It is a special bond created between two individuals, two souls joined together for eternity. It is said that matches are made in heaven and the knots are tied on earth. (Well that would be cool :D , the biggest matrimonial site running on high end servers in heaven. Looking at the divorce rate, whoever managing that would be having a very tough time now. I am sure his appraisal would have gone down terribly bad in last few years) 


Confucious had a wonderful definition “Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain “


The history of Marriage goes even beyond the ancient times even before the first history chapter was recorded. Even during the time when the Human race was evolving from the primates we can find the natural evidence of first marriages. (There was no part, church, temple or feast). The marriage arose from the primeval needs of human species. It legalized the access to women so as to reduce the competition within the clan. Over a period of time, the beliefs,   the principles, the customs and rituals associated with the marriage has evolved. In ancient times no specific ceremony was required. Only the mutual consent of the people getting married was required. It was simple. But soon it became the most complex of all. There was no middle men or religion involved. It was a promise a trust between two individuals. 


In many societies it soon became a business/political or economic arrangement. The consent of two people, love or affection was not considered. Marriage became a tool to expand the pride & power of man. The freedom which women got was curbed. It was soon replaced with a false sense of pride & accomplishments. In some places people had to pay marriage tax to marry the person they like.  If we turn back our history book, we can find many instances when helpless women had to marry against her wish for the pride of her family, to protect her kingdom from the more powerful kings. Some even didn’t get this respect. Many had to live as concubines of the powerful. Some society practices polygamy. But I feel this is against the basic nature of human race. I don’t remember where but I had read in some scientific article that a person can live peacefully, take care of the emotional & physical need of only one person. 
Around 1700 the process of process of registering the marriage was introduced in Europe. Rest of the world soon followed suit. 


In the modern society marriage is foundation on which our culture & civilization stands. Marriages are formed to reproduce (not always). It is the evolution of next generation from the parent, the passing of the genes to the next generation. It is the cradle of wisdom and love in which the children acquires the skills to live a successful life ahead. (it is unfortunate that there are millions of children on streets or even in many homes who haven’t seen the power of love or family). All the religions give high importance to marriage & consider this as a sacred union of the two souls & God.


There are some bad customs/practices like dowry, child marriage, polygamy still associated with it. Our education teaches us how to create spacecraft, to become a doctor or engineer but it doesn’t teach us to live in family, on how to spread love & happiness or to react against these evil customs. Throughout we can see the erosion of the core values like mutual respect, individualism, sincerity, affection from this sacred bond.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

The dilemma of bachelorhood

Are the bachelors criminals?

Recently I read an article. The following was from that.

 "The single man in general, compared to others in the population, is poor and neurotic," writes Essayist George Gilder in his book Naked Nomads. "He is disposed to criminality, drugs, and violence. He is irresponsible about his debts, alcoholic, accident prone, and venerally diseased. Unless he can marry, he is often destined to a Hobbsean life--solitary, nasty, brutish and short." (Gilder apparently had never seen Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?)  Yet the idea that bachelors were bad news was common among both conservatives and feminists. In Sex and Destiny: The Politics of Human Fertility, Germaine Greer notes that “the most threatened group in human society, as in animal societies, is the unmated male: the unmated male is more likely to wind up in prison or in an asylum or dead than his mated counterpart. He is less likely to be promoted at work, and he is considered a poor credit risk.” Further, researcher Stephanie Coontz found that more men than women describe being married as their ideal state, and men who remain single fare far worse emotionally than do their female counterparts.

Quite interesting!!!  After reading this even I was not sure about myself. Was I a criminal? Is it a sin to be a bachelor?

Society always had a different attitude towards us. They believed that bachelors are good for nothing & always invited trouble with them. For all those uncle and aunts whose views are different - we are not drunkards, party animals, living on junk foods. We also go to churches and temples (In fact some years back my day begins with the mass at a nearby church & then the pooja at the temple). We are not always looking out for girls. In India it is very hard for a bachelor to survive alone. There will be spying eyes all around. It is very difficult to get even a house for rent in a decent place. Somehow even if get a house neighbors will always on guard, never missing a chance to remind the landlord to reminding his foolishness of letting us stay in his property.

Few years back I was staying in another city. We were staying in a hostel. But due to some reason we had to move out of it. I along with my friend started to look for a rental house. Wherever we went there was a filter condition “No room for bachelors”. I was annoyed a lot. What do all these people think about us? Almost all preferred families. But we were much better than any of them. We were free on our jobs so there was no problem of not paying our rents. We were teetotaler. Direct office- back to room kids (yep we were still kidsJ). Even we toyed the idea of looking out for girls, instead of rooms or house, whom we could marry & get the minimum qualification of staying under a roof.

I don’t think either the fairer sex had any better luck in this matter. One of my colleague had to vacate her room because due to the tight work in office she was late almost on all days. And soon people started objecting to it. Even some said that she was of a loose character!!!

Even at home elders viewed us with suspicion. Our opinion & views were taken for granted. According to then we ere young, independent & but lacked the intelligence & common sense to take the right decisions. We can be easily fooled & misled. WOW!!!!!

Are we so weak & idiots??? No one gave me the correct answer. It the high time our society moved out of these stereotypes. We are intelligent & have sufficient common sense to decide our future. We have every right to live among the normal families. We are not criminals. We have the every right to live a peaceful life with dignity with the suspicious eyes all around us. 

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tuesdays with life



Tuesdays with Morrie
If you haven’t read this book you don’t know what you are missing. This is a true story about two individuals, a student and his teacher. It is a book about the intelligent conversations which happen between the student and his master. This book may not be very familiar with the young population (I am not so old: D) but the same book was in the best seller list of New York Times for consecutive 250 weeks! This books talks about the simple joys of life which we are missing.

Background
Morrie Schwartz, a history professor at Brandeis University, has been diagnosed with ALS and is dying. Mitch Albom is a former student (He didn’t visit his professor for many years), who had become a fairly well known sports writer, heard about his teacher from an interview decided to pay a visit. This visit soon turned into regular meetings - on Tuesdays. In this book Mitch Albom recounts his time spent with his 78 year old sociology professor at Brandeis University, the wisdom of life gained on every Tuesdays.

Even on his deathbed Morrie teaches us on how to live a full live.

Simple Ideas

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” – Morrie.

There are many books available on self improvement which talks about the ideas in this book but no one has touched my heart & soul in such an effective manner. Morrie teaches us the most important lesson of simplicity. Life is very short. We are always worried about different things in this materialistic world. All these things don’t matter at all. It is the love, the smile, the forgiveness that matters after all.

W. H Suden says in his poem “We must love one another or die.”
“As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on—in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.”


Go and get a personal copy. It is a fast read simple book which you will always cherish.

We must love one another or die

I liked this poem a lot .. full of live & hope. Rather than fighting & fooling around lets love one another or die
------------------------------------------
I sit in one of the dives

On Fifty-second street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
and darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night.

Accurate scholarship can
unearth the whole offence
From Luther until now
That has driven a culture mad,
Find what occurred at Linz,
What huge imago made
A psychopathic god:
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.

Exiled Thucydides knew
All that a speech can say
About Democracy,
And what dictators do,
The elderly rubbish they talk
To an apathetic grave;
Analysed all in his book,
The enlightenment driven away,
The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.

Into this neutral air
Where blind skyscrapers use
Their full height to proclaim
The strength of Collective Man,
Each language pours its vain
Competitive excuse:
But who can live for long
In an euphoric dream;
Out of the mirror they stare,
Imperialism¹s face
And the international wrong.

Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
who have never been happy or good.

The windiest militant trash
Important Persons shout
Is not so crude as our wish:
What mad Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.

From the conservative dark
Into the ethical life
The dense commuters come,
Repeating their morning vow,
"I will be true to the wife.
I'll concentrate more on my work,"
And helpless governors wake
To resume their compulsory game:
Who can release them now,
Who can reach the deaf,
Who can speak for the dumb?

All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Defenceless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages;
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.

-- W. H. Auden

Monday, September 21, 2009

Welcome to Bundelkhand; Hot market for wives, daughters

It a long time I wrote something. I couldn’t think of something. I felt as if I have suddenly lost all the inspiration. I wrote couple of poems but couldn’t finish them. Two weeks ago I was leaving the town for one week. I came home late on Sunday. I was supposed to board the train early morning Monday.

I was feeling restless so thought of spending time some time with the Idiot box. I was surfing channels when news about Farmers selling their wives caught my attention. I was shocked. There was an interview about how a mother was forced to sell herself to feed her children. All this happening in India!!!!!!!! It happened in the India’s heartland in Bundelkhand in UP where the one of the fierce political battles was fought between Rahul Gandhi & Mayawathi during the last election. We talk of record food production & here mothers are forced to sell themselves to feed. What a shame on this civilized world. Why couldn’t our Govt or politicians take note of them? UP government was innovating on new plans to divert tax payer’s money to erect status of the political brass. Why the media has to come up with such exclusives every time before the government wakes up? What is to be so proud of? Godowns full of bumper crops or the tale of fateless farmers who cannot even afford the crops they produce? There is Bundelkhand Divisional Development Corporation (BDDC) which seems to be interested in the development of BSP party only. Where is the congress, the BSP, SP who spoke for hours highlighting the poor farmer’s life to garner more votes? Where are you “the Son’s of soil”. Why they should worry now, they can think about these when the next election comes.

The farmers reportedly sell their women to money lenders at rates ranging between Rs 4,000 - Rs 12,000 with more beautiful faces fetching more. The trade is given a legal approval by using stamp papers!!!!!!! For each stamp paper used Indian Govt. is getting revenue. Government earning revenue by forcing their women folks to sell themselves, shame on you political cattles. Looking at the grave situation they would have got enough revenues to survive next few years. This is a place where every year millions of tones of food grains are lost or damaged in godowns. I have even heard news about how food grains are destroyed so that the prices remain high!!!!

The practice is so common that a book has also been written on the social evil by an activist in the region. However, the administration, generally attempts to suppress such cases just as they deny farm suicides. The protracted drought in Bundelkhand has not only been forcing people to commit suicide but also coercing many to ‘mortgage’ their wives and daughters to moneylenders in a bid to survive.

Many of those who read this may not be aware of the not so shining part of India. We are fortunate enough to have food at least 3 times a day. My heart goes to all those mothers and children.

Couple of decades back our Prime minister said “Jai Jawan, Jai Kissan” (Victory to soldier, Victory to Farmer). There is not much jai left... only the feeble cry of hungry children, the untold story of the horrors the mothers faced.

I want to write more but cannot. Whenever I think of that story my eyes become watery, even now I could feel my wet cheeks. I can’t write more my soul is disturbed….

(Officially in India about 28 % people are below the poverty line but yesterday I read an article according to which if the calorie intake is considered more than 50% of Indians are below poverty line. Even after so many years of Independence if 50% of people are below poverty line, who couldn’t support a wholesome meal then surely it’s the high time we changed our programs in alleviating the downtrodden.)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

My birthday celebration

It was my birthday celebration with a difference. After almost a decade I celebrated my birthday. Usually my birthday celebration is limited to few sweets & a lunch or dinner with my best friends. I was not sure about this year’s celebration. After last one years great survival in my new life I wanted this year’s celebration to be different.

I was planning to visit few orphanages & spend some time with kids, play with them, and laugh with them. May be, now I could understand them better. Children’s of which age should I visit? I asked this question to myself many times. At last I thought I will spend time with small infants & toddlers. There are the sweetest. They don’t know about the different barriers erected by our cruel society. Their smile, the hug from them is the purest. I called couple of my close friends to accompany. With a long weekend of Independence Day no one was actually around. (even I wanted to go alone, If I had asked a second time many would have come but I didn’t want them to change their schedule for me, few were with their GF’s & few others were searching their independence in drinks. Since I don’t drink or smoke I don’t go to such parties & during such long weekends I can spend time with my books or guitar)

At last I decided to go to Nirmala Shishu Bhavan (an institution of missionaries of charity, it is an adoption center), I bought few sweets and Cheque as a birthday gift for them. It was not a big amount just the usual amount which I would have otherwise spent with my friends dining in some restaurants. I called the mother superior & my visit was scheduled for 3 PM. Children up to 7 years were staying there. I was excited but had a lot of questions. How will be the children, what will be their questions, will they come near me. I don’t know why & how such countless questions surfaced in my mind. All these questions vanished from my mind when I saw the first smile. Meenu was standing at the door with the sweetest smile. I stretched my hands and she came running towards me and hugged me tight. Soon few others joined her. My physique is not so large but one child had different idea. She started climbing on my as if I was a mountain!!! With two kids in my both hands & few on my legs I was stuck at the door. Soon sister rescued me from this impasse. Hearing the noise few more children came near me. I thought they need some distraction. What a better diversion that the sweets packets I had. Eureka !!! I opened the packets & I could see the smile on their faces widening. I got a volunteer in Anju. She took control of sweets and started distributing. Most of children couldn’t open the chocolate wrapper. From one end I started removing the wrapper and placed the chocolate in their mouth. I got the sweetest gift also for this effort. Kisses & hugs … they were in planty sometimes for the chocolates, sometimes for the smile. Normally shy children were also coming and started asking me a lot questions like my name, what I am doing, my home. Soon I became one among them, on my knees. Small children were interested in my spectacles. Some even tried to take that. I wanted to take few snaps but with children all-round I couldn’t even take my camera out. But still I managed to click couple. Seeing all these children I felt so sad. How could their parents leave them there? Warden said that few children were not fully orphan. Their parents were so pooer that they couldn’t keep them.
There were new born babies also with the youngest one only 16 days old. She was so cute & small lying there in the crib. I gently touched her with my fingers. When her little fingers held my fingers I was almost in another world. I talked to the caretakers and sisters. I saw a mission in their eyes , in their noble deeds they were much closer to God.

It was the time to say goodbye to all. With a promise to return I bid them all farewell and walked towards my car. I was one of the happiest person at that moment on this planet.

It was one of my best birthday celebrations ever something which I could remember for a long time. I always thought when I cross my 30’s and reach mid 30’s how would I survive. I don’t think books, poems and all the research stuff will hold my interest. Maybe now I know the reason to live, the reason to die for… It was always a thought only. I used to say that I will adopt one child even if I had my own. It was only a thought, then it became an idea but now today it has outgrown the idea and became a decision. Sometime back when I said about this idea one of my friends said that cant I produce my own. I haven’t tried it yet and not sure whether I will ever also. But now I feel that I can adopt one. In this materialistic world only thing which we can give is love. This is one investment which we can give without the fear for being going bankrupt. What difference will it make whether it is an adopted child or my own? I can only love. I am trying to flush out the jealousy, anger and all those emotions from me. I thought about the couples who spent millions for producing their child. Of course mother hood is the biggest boon and feeling.(for me mother & motherland are much bigger than even all the treasures of heaven) But cant we spent some amount on these poor souls also? If we adopt one will it make a difference? I know it will be many years after when I will have to make a decision on this but still I thought of sharing it….

At last …Happy Birthday to me :D































Mujhe FANAA Karde

Sunday, August 09, 2009

It started out as a feeling

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
’till it was a battle cry

I’ll come back..
When you call me
No need to say good bye

Just because everything’s changing
Doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before

All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You’ll come back when its over
No need to say good bye
You’ll come back when it’s over
No need to say good bye.

Now we’re back to the beginning
It’s just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can’t feel it too
Doesn’t mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stonger and stonger
’til they’re before your eyes

You’ll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
You’ll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

The reason I would die for

It started as a dream,
a dream which kept me alive,
I wandered though the miseries of life,
in pursuit of happiness,
in search of you…

You are my unfulfilled prophesy,
you are all what I had, what I cared for
the reason to live for…
the reason to die for.

Words are caught in my own breath,
drowned in my own feelings,
you keep me floating,
the longing to be together keeps me going.

I waited so long for one answer,
which could have changed the world forever for me.
The sound of words and promises can be hollow
but I cant leave the feelings inside,
don’t let my heart turn to stone.

I had a dream yesterday, a beautiful dream
we were together on a beach ,
countless stars watching us,
walking gently hand in hand.

I still can feel the warmth of your body
the aura of your soul around me.
When I am near you I am alive,
hold me close,
don’t let me fall into the chasm of emptiness.

I want this dream to last forever,
without you I am a dead stone.
I've cried a thousand tears for this moment
looked up the dark sky and prayed.

I don’t know the source of this feeling.
Now It’s just not a feeling but
a promise,
a prophesy,
all because
You are the reason I would live for…
You are the reason I would die for…

--Abhilash

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Love is ....

Love is a reason to live and a reason to die for ....


Many people say that i don't love . may be i am not so outgoing, sniffing everyone out... but that doesn't means that my heart doesn't beat.. it has its own rhythm . may be an overdose of all what i read but i believe in it. When my frnd asked since i dont have big expectation from any1 so y i need love. thats when i said "Love is a reason to live and a reason to die for ...."

this can be 2 an individual or some goal, some destination where we want to reach before we depart from this world and that time we are happy because our life had a meaning. Love is just understaing & finding this meaning.


Friday, June 19, 2009

Love is....

Love is that enviable state that knows no envy or vanity, only empathy and a longing to be greater than oneself

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Elephant Whisperer...few things about family which elephants can teach us

I read this article in The Hindu.. it was such a great one that i thought i should share this with all others.

I have heard about such close knitnedness but this was great. I wished I could also do something like this. Belong to a family which cares and supports all members. We human don’t have the common sense for this. We have our ego before us, hurting each other. Why cant we talk and understand before coming to a conclusion. Now a days we are so much wired that we don’t have time …..for anything ..


http://www.hindu.com/2009/06/15/stories/2009061555240900.htm

 Lawrence Anthony’s eyes mist over as he remembers the moment he met his ready-made family for the first time. “They were a difficult bunch, no question about it,” he says. “Delinquents every one. But I could see a lot of good in them too. They’d had a tough time and were all scared and yet they were looking after one another, trying to protect one another.”

From the way he talks, you might guess that he was talking about disadvantaged children; in fact, it’s a herd of elephants. And not just any herd of elephants either, but a notorious, wild herd that had wreaked havoc across swathes of KwaZulu-Natal in South Africa, and were now threatened with being shot. “I was their only hope,” says Anthony, 59. “There were seven of them in all, including babies and a teenage son. But the previous owner had had it up to here with them — they’d smashed their way through every fence they’d ever come up against.”

Anthony knew his plan was risky — “angry elephants are very dangerous animals if they don’t like you. You can be hamburger meat in seconds” — but his children had grown up and left home and he and his French wife, Francoise, had space on their game reserve, Thula Thula. When they were approached by an elephant-welfare organisation, Anthony, a respected conservationist who made world headlines in 2003 when he flew into Baghdad to rescue the animals from Saddam Hussein’s zoo (an episode of the South African-born environmentalist’s life that is being made into a Hollywood movie), knew he couldn’t refuse.

Beyond wildest imagination

Today, 10 years on from the moment the herd arrived, he says — in another echo of many adoptive parents — that the difficulties of the job were beyond his wildest imagination.

“It’s been a hundred times harder than I’d thought,” he says. But he could not have foreseen how much a bunch of troublesome tuskers would teach him about family love and loyalty. “The care these elephants shower on one another is astounding,” he says.

From the start, Anthony — tall, bearded, tanned and clad in khaki — considered the elephants part of his family. “We called the matriarch Nana, because that’s what all the children in the Anthony family call my mum,” he says. “The second in command, another feisty mother, we called Frankie after Francoise.”

As with human adoptions, the early days were especially tough. Nana and her troupe weren’t called the most troublesome elephants in Africa for nothing: every morning they would try to break out of the compound where they were living. Every day, Anthony, in a gesture that many parents who have had to deal with difficult kids will recognise, would do his best to persuade them that they shouldn’t behave badly, but that whatever they did he loved them anyway, and that they could trust him. “I’d go down to the fence and I’d plead with Nana not to break it down,” he says. “I knew she didn’t understand English, but I hoped she’d understand by the tone of my voice and my body language what I was saying. And one morning, instead of trying to break the fence down, she just stood there. Then she put her trunk through the fence towards me. I knew she wanted to touch me — elephants are tremendously tactile, they use touch all the time to show concern and love. That was a turning point.”

Matriarchal

Elephants are matriarchal. Anthony’s herd consisted of a group of mothers and their pre-adolescent young. Within the group, the matriarch has absolute authority.

“Whatever she says goes. If she wants to turn left, they turn left. If she wants to walk for 100 km, they walk for 100 km. Watching her made me understand what family means — her behaviour taught me that wise leadership, selfless discipline and tough unconditional love is the core of the family unit. I learned how important one’s own flesh and blood actually is when the dice are loaded against you. Nana would do anything for the family she led: she expected to be obeyed, and she was, but she was very, very careful about where she led those she was responsible for.”

Her acceptance of Anthony meant that the other elephants followed suit, which was life-saving for both him and Francoise a few days later when they unwittingly came between Frankie and her babies. She charged — “and let me tell you, an elephant charge is the most magnificent, and also the most terrifying, experience life holds” — and only broke off when she was seconds from obliterating them. “If Nana hadn’t shown Frankie she could trust me and shouldn’t hurt me, we’d certainly have been crushed to death.”

Frankie’s defence of her young was typical: an elephant mother’s devotion to her children is, Anthony believes, unparalleled in the animal kingdom. He tells a heartbreaking story about how another of the herd, Nandi, gave birth to a daughter whose legs were deformed. Despite the danger of lions, and the heat, Nandi remained with her for two days, supported by Nana and Frankie, all three taking turns to shield the baby from the sun. Time after time, they tried to lift her with their trunks so she could stand. “Watching Nandi made me realise how much a real mother cares. She was prepared to stand over her deformed baby for days without food or water, trying right until the end to save her, refusing to surrender until the last breath had been gasped.”

Loyalty

There were many other lessons in family behaviour, too. Frankie, the feisty aunt, showed time and again what loyalty meant. “She’d have laid down her life for them in a blink, no question, and in return, the others gave her their absolute love and respect. And the way Frankie raised her young, Marula and Mabula, showed me first-hand what good parenting can achieve despite adverse circumstances. These beautiful, well-behaved children are what we in human terms would call “good citizens”. They saw how their mother and aunt treated me, and in return accorded me the respect one would give to a distinguished relative.”

Reciprocal exchanges

Today, the Anthonys are so close to their elephants that on occasion they have almost had to chase them out of the sitting room. Anthony’s guiding principle has always been that if he respected them, they would respect him. Exchanges between him and the elephants have often been reciprocal, most movingly when Nana’s son Mvula was born, and she ambled forward out of the bush, days after the birth, to show him off to the man she now regarded as a close kinsman. A few years later, after Anthony’s first grandchild, Ethan, was born, he repaid the gesture. “Mind you,” he says with a laugh, “my daughter-in-law didn’t talk to me for a long time afterwards. There I was, holding her tiny, days-old baby, walking towards a herd of wild elephants. She didn’t imagine I’d go so close — but I knew we were safe. The elephants were so excited — their trunks went straight up and they all edged closer, intensely focused on the little bundle in my arms, smelling the air to get the scent. I was trusting them with my baby, just as they had trusted me with theirs.”

Respect for the elderly

The elephants’ respect for the elderly herd members is something else human beings could learn from, says Anthony. “Old elephants tend to get dementia and are very slow. But the young treat them with the utmost respect and devotion — when an elderly relative can’t scrape the bark off branches to eat any more, his sons and nephews lead him to marshes or swamps where the leaves are softer. When he’s too weak to stand, they guard him to protect him from lions or hyenas.”

This week, Anthony flies home from London, where he has been promoting his new book, to South Africa and Thula Thula. He knows that Nana, Frankie, Nandi and the rest of the gang will be waiting for him at the gate — they always seem to sense when he’ll be back. These days, they are as much there for him as he is for them. Adopting a herd of wild elephants might have been the biggest risk he ever took in his life but, against the odds, it has paid off. The conservationist who welcomed a herd of badly behaved elephants into the heart of his family has had his brave and bold gesture returned in a way he couldn’t have dreamed of: these days, he is as much a part of their family as they are of his. — © Guardian Newspapers Limited, 2009

The Elephant Whisperer by Lawrence Anthony with Graham Spence is published by Pan Macmillan.)