Acid attacks – by the devils from hell

Today was just like any other Sundays “late to bed and late to wake up makes a Sunday worth living”.  While skimming through the newspapers an article about an acid attack victim caught my attention. Just like most of us do I paused for a moment and then continued my reading. But the image lingered on my mind throughout the day. The eyes were saying something to me. Did it complain or were there any tears in it? By evening I was quite busy into my technical research but then again the image resurfaced. It created enough ripples in my mind. I googled and the images I found shocked even my soul. I was shocked, such a heinous crime by a human being on another?

BANGLADESH. Dhaka. June 2005.Nobisa Begam. 15 Years old. Photographed three days after acid was thrown in her face for refusing a marriage proposal..(Courtesy bop.nppa.org)

What should I call these acts of violence? The perpetrators of this violence are they human or devil himself in human form? It is one of the most violent crimes against women. It is not only an act against her dignity, self respect, independence but also against the fundamental principle of humanity on which our civilized society is standing. It is a trauma that these hapless victims have to undergo everyday of their life. Everyday when they look into mirror (those who are still lucky to have their eyes after the attack many were not so luck) the pain they have undergone, the humiliation they have suffered re-surfaces.

Most of the attacks are by husbands or the people known to the victims with a major share from the so called “lovers”. I couldn’t understand how could people throw acid when a woman refuses their proposal? They say they loved and how could someone hurt some body so much? This is not committed in a fit of passion. A lot of planning is required for it. Guys if this has crossed your mind then remember it’s not worth. Love is not about taking by violence it is sacrifice of what you have. Love demands patience and sacrifice and not violence. If you have truly loved someone you will happily give your life for a single smile of your loved ones. Yow will never think about harming in any way. So if you have thought in any other fashion then you can be sure that you never loved. Even the most pure and polite approach might lead to failure but then it shouldn’t drive yourself to this crime against humanity. Pause and look around and see how many smiles, how many hopes you will kill with your action. You may be provoked to your limits but remember life has a lot of things to offer.

Angura. 30 years old, lies with her son and mother on the floor of her ward in the hospital run by the Acid Survivors Foundation in Dhaka. Her husband and another man threw acid on her and then burnt her eyes with a blowtorch after she refused her husband permission to take another woman into their home.(Courtesy bop.nppa.org)

In some places it is used as a too, to suppress women, to curtail their independence. There were reports of acid attacks on girl student in Afghanistan by the Taliban and its allies. They were against the women education and hence these attacks. Elsewhere in places like Kashmir acids were thrown on women who refused to wear the burkha. There were attacks on women by the jealous employer.  In some part of the India acid attack was used to strengthen the evil clutches of casteism.

Such news is always sensational which our media are ever ready to feed on. But after this sensation do we ever think how these people go about their life. The may get big promises of compensation and sympathy but are they fulfilled? Even if sufficient compensation is given how can we compensate the pain, the agony, the shame, the humiliation they have undergone?

How can we prevent this? We cannot stop the supply of acids. This is freely available in markets which even a child can buy for a paltry amount. The need of hour is a quality education with proper emphasize on humanity and its values. Those who commit such heinous crime should get the maximum punishment possible under law. If it was in my power I would have given a death punishment, after treatment in the same fashion an eye for an eye. I would have stoned them to death. I know I may look like a barbaric in my verdict but these crimes are worse form of barbarism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acid_throwing

Dec 3: Hope or tragedy?

Dec3 is personally always special to me. This year also I woke up with a smile on my lips and a song in my soul. It was just unlike any other day it was special. Sun was shining; cool breeze of December was playing in its own tune.

Soon I remembered an old story and the smile started disappearing. It was a day when many didn’t wake from their sleep. It was a day of chaos, disaster and death. It was a day when mothers didn’t know their children had died, children didn’t know their mothers had died and men didn’t know their whole families had died. It was the day when methyl isocyanate gas (MIC) escaped from the Union Carbide’s underground storage plant in Bhopal.

It was a city where I grew up, I played, I went to school. Luckily my parents moved with me to the city when I was a small kid, only after few years of the tragedy. But even now I can remember the grim tales of shock, horror and betrayal which I heard. Many of my family friends and relatives who survived the accident didn’t believe that they will actually see us again.

A picture speaks thousand words. I have posted three different pics of the tragedy. I wouldn’t have written this blog about an incident which happened 25 years ago. But after seeing these images I cried. I had promised that I wouldn’t cry again but I couldn’t control myself today. I cried for the mothers, for the children, for the fathers and for all those countless lives which were lost because of human greed.

3rd December 1984

Shortly after midnight poison gas leaked from factory in Bhopal. There was no warning; none of the plant's safety systems were working. Nearly 40 tonnes of lethal Methyl Isocyanate had escaped from the Union Carbide factory in Bhopal. The pesticide plant was shifted from America because it was ''too risky'' for Americans.

In the city people were sleeping. They woke in darkness to the sound of screams with the gases burning their eyes, noses and mouths. They began retching and coughing up froth streaked with blood. Whole neighborhoods fled in panic, some were trampled, and others convulsed and fell dead. People lost control of their bowels and bladders as they ran. Within hours thousands of dead bodies lay in the streets. 

There were mass funerals and mass cremations as well as disposal of bodies in the Narmada river. 170,000 people were treated at hospitals and temporary dispensaries. 2,000 buffalo, goats, and other animals were collected and buried. Within a few days, leaves on trees yellowed and fell off. Supplies, including food, became scarce owing to suppliers' safety fears.

Authorities estimated that the gas affected around 520,000 people. Of these, 200,000 were below 15 years of age, and 3,000 were pregnant women. In 1991, 3,928 deaths had been certified. Independent organizations recorded 8,000 dead in the first days. Other estimations vary between 10,000 and 30,000. Another 100,000 to 200,000 people are estimated to have permanent injuries of different degrees. It was a holocaust; thousands were gassed.

There were many warnings but the plan management were interested only in making $$$ for the safety of their workers was least important.

The man responsible for the Bhopal disaster, former Union Carbide CEO Warren Anderson. An international arrest warrant was issued for Anderson, who fled justice and disappeared. The US government disavowed any knowledge of his whereabouts, and was unable to locate him. Greenpeace and the The Mirror found Anderson living in New York State, under his own name, in 2002 following less than a month-long investigation. The US government has still not taken Anderson into custody. Such modern Hitler should be hanged, should be stoned to death. Are such people above the law? Is no one answerable to the lives lost? Even after so many years the survivors are fighting for justice. The pesticide residue left in the closed plant is till polluting the environment but who cares for these things?

This should have been an eye opener. But still we can find countless Bhopal in the making. If we look around we will find them. Let’s act now or should we wait for another such accident. My Brothers and sisters don’t think that this won’t happen to you or to your dear ones. This can happen anywhere. So act now.. If you don’t get anyone to protest let me know. Even if no one joins you I will come and fight along with you. I will readily give my life to prevent another Bhopal.

I still don’t understand why man is always running after money. We don’t take anything to our grave but only few sweet memories. Maybe many don’t understand this.

Why should we destroy the masterpiece of the almighty – this green plant our home. Lets us keep it safe for the nest generation. Let’s fight for the survival not for our children but for us.

The dilemma of bachelorhood – III: My marriage - To be, or not to be

To be, or not to be: that is the question. This question is plaguing me for some time.

Everyone around me keeps reminding about this. It seems that they have only one mission left in their life.

If the marriage is so divine & special why is so much violence associated with it? Why is the divorce rate always increasing (For the time being, let’s remove the forced marriage from this discussion)?

I believe that a marriage should happen between two individuals who have mutual respect, understanding, love and affection between themselves. Is it really happening this way? Even many “love” (or lust?) marriages end in failures. I have seen some horrific violence in some of my close relatives, some to the verge of death. With one look I could see that the choice was wrong.

In many cases lives most important decision is made in few minutes without much thinking. Many believe in the matching of horoscope but I believe matching of the mind & soul should matter more. In ancient times when there was no other method of selection, the horoscope matching was the only method of selection/rejection but is it really relevant now? Even the barriers like caste, religion, language or even citizenship comes second. God didn’t create these barriers it only we humans who have created these barriers and divided the paradise created by God in this solar system and created a hell out of it.

We start about thinking about that special person when we are in teens. Did I think much about at that time? Hmm didn’t I? I had few crushes but nothing more; just a small smile that’s all. I thought that I will think about all those when I am mature enough to handle my emotions. That was the best decision I took at that time. May be it’s the overdose of the things I read but I believed (still believe) the love happens only once and should be nurtured and protected carefully. I would take a decision only after a lot of thought. If we look in nature a rice plant produce many rice seeds. In natural habitat the survival rate of seeds are very less and only a few grow into another cereal plant. In contrast a coconut tree produces much less nuts but with many layers of protection. In vast ocean many islands have only this tree. I fall into this later category. Life is so small for love and very big to fight and worry.

When I begin my career, in one of my projects I was associated with a Business Analyst. He was one of those special characters with whom many couldn’t work. Working in his team was the biggest challenge. My colleagues would have preferred Kalapanni instead. Being a little research oriented I was chosen to assist him technically in a research sort of project. I had already heard the tales of Don Quixote. I approached with apprehension. But soon we were able to work as a team and made significant progress. I stuck to my expertise of technical field and gave my big ears to him. Soon he would speak a lot of things to me & I patiently listened to all those. Sometimes I was on the verge of collapse but I held myself together (Some time I felt like kicking him from the top of the building but being a junior engineer I was pretty helpless). In few weeks actually this strategy paid off. He also started listening to me and very frequently asked my opinions on a lot matters. Sometimes I would scold him!!! The role was actually reversed!!! Anyone would have thought that I was the senior & he my junior. That’s the power of listening (not hearing).  That’s not the main point very often he would say that he is 30 and still a bachelor. In a hurry he got married. But their marriage didn’t last for even 6 months. They made the biggest mistake of rushing towards wedlock. May be the peer pressure might have worked against them. But ultimately both of them had to suffer. One should listen to the heart, analyze the pulse & take a decision and not rush into it.

In old times the engagement period was the time when the couples identified with each other, their aspirations, their passions, their dreams but now it has become a mere ceremony. Initially people could decide whether they would go forward or not. In recent times how many such cases have we heard of when the people have backed of after realizing the folly? Listen to your heart don’t think about the society. Ultimately it what we believe that matters. In western countries (many places in India also) we can see people staying together before the vows to decide whether they can spend rest of their lives together or not. I don’t think I will have to do this to decide. Till now I have kept my mind, body & soul pure for the special one, Resisted many temptations. I t was a real fight of character & wits. But I clung to my beliefs. Whether it’s mentally or physically let it be for the only one even if it’s only for few minutes.

To live happily ever after ideally one should marry their best friends with whom we can talk endlessly. All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand. Even if I am married to the most beautiful women in world within few months I will lose interest in her. Scientifically it is established that on an average the new xing or x factor lasts for around 24 months. Then something else is required, after this initial period, for the continuation. Rather than husbands and wife the couples should be best friends with whom they can share all their worries, anxieties, fear, aspiration & dreams with a belief that the other person will be around to support. There should be enough space for individualism but close enough to lean for a support after the day’s hard work. Rather than running behind money, fame, promotion we should be able to spend time with family. In India men always held had an upper hand and made all the decision for the family. Many didn’t even consult with their spouse. Men held the traditional role of bread earner and women looked after the children at home. Women were shut behind the doors and had very limited rights. Even among the well educated and successful women I have seen this submissive attitude. After marriage it seems that their life has ended. I believe it’s only a phase. Life should blossom to the highest level, should soar to the heights of happiness and love. With the changing demographics & life style I think this should be changed. Women should also get the every right enjoyed by men. They should take their own decisions and should fight (not physical I don’t believe in this, the clash should of ideas). It a companion we seek for the life’s travel not a foe or stranger. The famous Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar married life was very pious (http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/12/thiruvalluvar-ideal-person-to-emulate.html) ideally we should emulate him in our married life. The journey won’t be smooth; there will be lots of ups and downs. Parents, friends, everyone will go. Some will be replaced with framed photos. In all these difficult situations we should be around to support, to fuel the flight, to pull push when the life, to lend a helping hand, to give the shoulders to the person we said “I do”.

What type of a person will I get married?  I would give only two attributes. The person with whom I can talk endlessly who could be my best friend and who could inspire me to write poems on her. She will be the reason I would live for and the reason I would die for (http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/08/reason-i-would-die-for.html)

Is marriage the only way of salvation? Well I don’t think so. There are a lot of single people in our society who had achieved a lot. Most of my role models like Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Swami Vivekananda, Queen Elizabeth-I were single ( the list is quite big). There is more to life than getting married to some one about whom you don’t know much. Always something is not necessarily better than nothing. There are very high chances that I will end up in a monastery or with some NGO helping out others.

After the Brahmacharya, Grihastha ash-ram or Sanyas for me? Only time can tell it whether I will live as an eternal brahmachari or not. Either way life seems beautiful full of challenges ahead )

Thiruvalluvar: an ideal person to emulate in grihastha ash-ram

Thiruvalluvar was one person who always fascinated me. He was an ideal person. He was a Grihastha but was more divine and powerful than any sanyasi of his age. Thiruvalluvar showed people that a person could lead the life of a Grihastha or householder, and at the same time, lead a divine life or a life of purity and sanctity. He showed people that there was no necessity to leave the family and become a Sannyasin to lead a divine life of purity and sanctity. He expressed his philosophy in the Kural, a collection of 1330 short, pithy couplets, primarily in the form of maxims.

Hearing his stories about grihastha ash-ram  few sanyasis decided to test him. They asked Thiruvalluvar to invite them for lunch. Saint Thiruvalluvar understood their intentions. He simply kept quiet. He wanted to teach them the glory of Grihastha Ashrama by example.


When the sanyasi’s came visiting, Thiruvalluvar was taking cold rice. He said to his wife: "Vasuki, the rice is very hot. Bring a fan to cool it". Thiruvalluvar’s wife was drawing water from the well when Thiruvalluvar called her. She at once left the rope and ran to him with a fan to cool the rice. Sanyasis thought that Thiruvalluvar has gone insane; the rice was cold there was no need of fan. The vessel that contained water was hanging half-way in the well unsupported, on account of her Pativrata Dharma Shakti. Others noticed this phenomenon and the noble conduct of Vasuki and were simply struck with amazement.


The couple achieved the highest level of wisdom and divine knowledge through their devotion to each other. This is an ideal couple which we can emulate in our life

The dilemma of bachelorhood – II – Marriage

Can marriage be the silver bullet for the many problems of bachelorhood? Marriage is an institution. It is a special bond created between two individuals, two souls joined together for eternity. It is said that matches are made in heaven and the knots are tied on earth. (Well that would be cool :D , the biggest matrimonial site running on high end servers in heaven. Looking at the divorce rate, whoever managing that would be having a very tough time now. I am sure his appraisal would have gone down terribly bad in last few years) 


Confucious had a wonderful definition “Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain “


The history of Marriage goes even beyond the ancient times even before the first history chapter was recorded. Even during the time when the Human race was evolving from the primates we can find the natural evidence of first marriages. (There was no part, church, temple or feast). The marriage arose from the primeval needs of human species. It legalized the access to women so as to reduce the competition within the clan. Over a period of time, the beliefs,   the principles, the customs and rituals associated with the marriage has evolved. In ancient times no specific ceremony was required. Only the mutual consent of the people getting married was required. It was simple. But soon it became the most complex of all. There was no middle men or religion involved. It was a promise a trust between two individuals. 


In many societies it soon became a business/political or economic arrangement. The consent of two people, love or affection was not considered. Marriage became a tool to expand the pride & power of man. The freedom which women got was curbed. It was soon replaced with a false sense of pride & accomplishments. In some places people had to pay marriage tax to marry the person they like.  If we turn back our history book, we can find many instances when helpless women had to marry against her wish for the pride of her family, to protect her kingdom from the more powerful kings. Some even didn’t get this respect. Many had to live as concubines of the powerful. Some society practices polygamy. But I feel this is against the basic nature of human race. I don’t remember where but I had read in some scientific article that a person can live peacefully, take care of the emotional & physical need of only one person. 
Around 1700 the process of process of registering the marriage was introduced in Europe. Rest of the world soon followed suit. 


In the modern society marriage is foundation on which our culture & civilization stands. Marriages are formed to reproduce (not always). It is the evolution of next generation from the parent, the passing of the genes to the next generation. It is the cradle of wisdom and love in which the children acquires the skills to live a successful life ahead. (it is unfortunate that there are millions of children on streets or even in many homes who haven’t seen the power of love or family). All the religions give high importance to marriage & consider this as a sacred union of the two souls & God.


There are some bad customs/practices like dowry, child marriage, polygamy still associated with it. Our education teaches us how to create spacecraft, to become a doctor or engineer but it doesn’t teach us to live in family, on how to spread love & happiness or to react against these evil customs. Throughout we can see the erosion of the core values like mutual respect, individualism, sincerity, affection from this sacred bond.

The dilemma of bachelorhood

Are the bachelors criminals?

Recently I read an article. The following was from that.

 "The single man in general, compared to others in the population, is poor and neurotic," writes Essayist George Gilder in his book Naked Nomads. "He is disposed to criminality, drugs, and violence. He is irresponsible about his debts, alcoholic, accident prone, and venerally diseased. Unless he can marry, he is often destined to a Hobbsean life--solitary, nasty, brutish and short." (Gilder apparently had never seen Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?)  Yet the idea that bachelors were bad news was common among both conservatives and feminists. In Sex and Destiny: The Politics of Human Fertility, Germaine Greer notes that “the most threatened group in human society, as in animal societies, is the unmated male: the unmated male is more likely to wind up in prison or in an asylum or dead than his mated counterpart. He is less likely to be promoted at work, and he is considered a poor credit risk.” Further, researcher Stephanie Coontz found that more men than women describe being married as their ideal state, and men who remain single fare far worse emotionally than do their female counterparts.

Quite interesting!!!  After reading this even I was not sure about myself. Was I a criminal? Is it a sin to be a bachelor?

Society always had a different attitude towards us. They believed that bachelors are good for nothing & always invited trouble with them. For all those uncle and aunts whose views are different - we are not drunkards, party animals, living on junk foods. We also go to churches and temples (In fact some years back my day begins with the mass at a nearby church & then the pooja at the temple). We are not always looking out for girls. In India it is very hard for a bachelor to survive alone. There will be spying eyes all around. It is very difficult to get even a house for rent in a decent place. Somehow even if get a house neighbors will always on guard, never missing a chance to remind the landlord to reminding his foolishness of letting us stay in his property.

Few years back I was staying in another city. We were staying in a hostel. But due to some reason we had to move out of it. I along with my friend started to look for a rental house. Wherever we went there was a filter condition “No room for bachelors”. I was annoyed a lot. What do all these people think about us? Almost all preferred families. But we were much better than any of them. We were free on our jobs so there was no problem of not paying our rents. We were teetotaler. Direct office- back to room kids (yep we were still kidsJ). Even we toyed the idea of looking out for girls, instead of rooms or house, whom we could marry & get the minimum qualification of staying under a roof.

I don’t think either the fairer sex had any better luck in this matter. One of my colleague had to vacate her room because due to the tight work in office she was late almost on all days. And soon people started objecting to it. Even some said that she was of a loose character!!!

Even at home elders viewed us with suspicion. Our opinion & views were taken for granted. According to then we ere young, independent & but lacked the intelligence & common sense to take the right decisions. We can be easily fooled & misled. WOW!!!!!

Are we so weak & idiots??? No one gave me the correct answer. It the high time our society moved out of these stereotypes. We are intelligent & have sufficient common sense to decide our future. We have every right to live among the normal families. We are not criminals. We have the every right to live a peaceful life with dignity with the suspicious eyes all around us.