Saturday, December 05, 2009

The dilemma of bachelorhood

Are the bachelors criminals?

Recently I read an article. The following was from that.

 "The single man in general, compared to others in the population, is poor and neurotic," writes Essayist George Gilder in his book Naked Nomads. "He is disposed to criminality, drugs, and violence. He is irresponsible about his debts, alcoholic, accident prone, and venerally diseased. Unless he can marry, he is often destined to a Hobbsean life--solitary, nasty, brutish and short." (Gilder apparently had never seen Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?)  Yet the idea that bachelors were bad news was common among both conservatives and feminists. In Sex and Destiny: The Politics of Human Fertility, Germaine Greer notes that “the most threatened group in human society, as in animal societies, is the unmated male: the unmated male is more likely to wind up in prison or in an asylum or dead than his mated counterpart. He is less likely to be promoted at work, and he is considered a poor credit risk.” Further, researcher Stephanie Coontz found that more men than women describe being married as their ideal state, and men who remain single fare far worse emotionally than do their female counterparts.

Quite interesting!!!  After reading this even I was not sure about myself. Was I a criminal? Is it a sin to be a bachelor?

Society always had a different attitude towards us. They believed that bachelors are good for nothing & always invited trouble with them. For all those uncle and aunts whose views are different - we are not drunkards, party animals, living on junk foods. We also go to churches and temples (In fact some years back my day begins with the mass at a nearby church & then the pooja at the temple). We are not always looking out for girls. In India it is very hard for a bachelor to survive alone. There will be spying eyes all around. It is very difficult to get even a house for rent in a decent place. Somehow even if get a house neighbors will always on guard, never missing a chance to remind the landlord to reminding his foolishness of letting us stay in his property.

Few years back I was staying in another city. We were staying in a hostel. But due to some reason we had to move out of it. I along with my friend started to look for a rental house. Wherever we went there was a filter condition “No room for bachelors”. I was annoyed a lot. What do all these people think about us? Almost all preferred families. But we were much better than any of them. We were free on our jobs so there was no problem of not paying our rents. We were teetotaler. Direct office- back to room kids (yep we were still kidsJ). Even we toyed the idea of looking out for girls, instead of rooms or house, whom we could marry & get the minimum qualification of staying under a roof.

I don’t think either the fairer sex had any better luck in this matter. One of my colleague had to vacate her room because due to the tight work in office she was late almost on all days. And soon people started objecting to it. Even some said that she was of a loose character!!!

Even at home elders viewed us with suspicion. Our opinion & views were taken for granted. According to then we ere young, independent & but lacked the intelligence & common sense to take the right decisions. We can be easily fooled & misled. WOW!!!!!

Are we so weak & idiots??? No one gave me the correct answer. It the high time our society moved out of these stereotypes. We are intelligent & have sufficient common sense to decide our future. We have every right to live among the normal families. We are not criminals. We have the every right to live a peaceful life with dignity with the suspicious eyes all around us. 

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