The shameless blockbuster story of our country

I was skimming the newspapers today late morning (some of luxuries because of a mid week holiday); suddenly a small news article caught my attention. The news was about the suicide of a man because he couldn’t get the money for his daughter’s dowry. The amount was only INR 50K plus few other “gifts”.  It pains that there is no end for such stories. We call ourselves cultured, educated people. What education and culture do these murderers have? Animals are better than us.

We are one of the fastest growing economies on this planet. The rapid commercialization has caused a serious degradation of our value system. Today we are worried about the latest gadgets, glamour, pay checks etc. There is no place for human values, compassion, and love. In our society marriage was considered very sacred, the central pillar around which the society worked. But today this is one of the most profitable business. The love and companionship in the relation is replaced by the paychecks and the status.
 The same degradation in human value sustains this demand of dowry. My readers will be surprised that this problem is not limited to the lower, illiterate sections of the society. We can find this menace in all layers of society.  People with highest education from IIT’s & IIM’s also demand this!!!This is not a relationship; this is a commercial deal where the girl’s family loses.

A lavish and pompous ceremony has become the norm of the day. Rather than talking about the character and beauty of the girl, people talk about the cost of the marriage dress & the finer intricacies of the Kg’s of the gold she wears for the ceremony.  Her friends and families try to match her or even improve their own status by adding few more Kg’s of gold to their wedding. There is no harm if one can easily afford this but it is bad, an evil practice when you are forced to do so to maintain the “status” or the norms of the society. I believe there would be a better status if you can give something from your luxury to the poor on your wedding; feed them, cloth them or give some money to those souls who cannot afford a decent marriage function.  At least you will have a satisfaction that you did something good and the bonus of smiles and prayers from the people you helped.

Dowry has become a trend setter in many families. Some families say that their so and so relatives got so much at their son’s marriage and now they will lose face if they don’t demand more!!!   They continuously terrorize the poor girl’s families till all their demands are met.  Any sensible guy should be ashamed of this. Their families are trading them openly as if they are cattle. The girl’s family pays money to buy such animals for their daughter. My dear brothers have you ever thought about the status you are trying to maintain by being part of such a process?  You are no better than a sheep or any other cattle. For me my friends and family are priceless. I will not trade them even if I got all the treasure of this earth. I think this is what is said to every son by their mothers and families but in reality it seems that they are not priceless. We can easily find their value in this trade market.

I believed that this system was prevalent only in arranged marriages. Few days back I read an article about the death of 26 year old women. She was working as a manger in a private company.  She met a guy through a common friend. After two years of courtship he proposed. Both the families agreed to the relationship. But the guy and his family were demanding dowry before the wedding. The guy even suggested to his fiancée that she should commit suicide if her family cannot meet his demands!!! Being a faithful partner she followed his advice. My heart and prayers are with that pour soul and her family. I don’t know what type of punishment should be given to such devils.

The cost and pressure caused by this heinous system is one of the major causes of female infanticide. In many families the moment a girl child is born, the worry starts. Many of my colleagues have daughters. Few months back a new angel came to bless my colleague. After few days of child birth we invited him for a weekend tour to a nearby tourist place. He jokingly said that he cannot spend like before because he has to save for his daughter’s wedding (an event that might happen after 25 years)!!! I liked that he loved his family and cares for them but I would have been happier if he had said that he is saving for his daughters education and for fulfilling her dreams. I know about a dad who worked hard all his life, saving every penny he could save. His daughter’s marriage was great, meeting all the parameters and norms of the society. But unfortunately within one year the marriage ended in divorce. She had only a moderate education. Now her life is in a standstill without any direction or purpose. If he had invested all those resources in her proper education and fulfilling her dreams she would have at least got a decent job and purpose in life.
Now lets us look at some of statistics.

According to the figures there was 8391 deaths reported because of dowry in 2012 in India when compared to 6995 deaths in 2000. Surely India is improving its standards. I believe only a very small percentage of the dowry deaths are reported (could be as less as 10%); there are many deaths which go un-reported. The figures show only a tip of iceberg hidden under the complex society rules. There are thousands of others who are living dead because of this system, continuously being abused verbally, physically and emotionally.
It a high time that we acted against this menace, raising our voice collectively.

We detest daughters! We hate them so much that we kill them before birth

I was going through some random blogs. The following lines caught my attention.

“We detest daughters! We hate them so much that we kill them before birth.  And we kill them after birth!  We kill them as they take their first breath.  We kill them while they are suckling infants.  We kill them as they learn to walk.  We kill them as they learn to talk and say ‘mama’ and ‘baba.’ We kill them as they learn to smile and trust, and love, and ask for their favorite foods – mangoes or sweets.  We kill them as they learn to play with their friends, and listen to stories about fairies, princesses, and far away dreams.  We kill them because we hate them.  We kill our daughters in the millions.”

Read the full article below
http://genderbytes.wordpress.com/2011/04/01/we-are-a-nation-of-daughter-killers-affirms-india%E2%80%99s-2011-census/

Dec 3: Hope or tragedy?

Dec3 is personally always special to me. This year also I woke up with a smile on my lips and a song in my soul. It was just unlike any other day it was special. Sun was shining; cool breeze of December was playing in its own tune.

Soon I remembered an old story and the smile started disappearing. It was a day when many didn’t wake from their sleep. It was a day of chaos, disaster and death. It was a day when mothers didn’t know their children had died, children didn’t know their mothers had died and men didn’t know their whole families had died. It was the day when methyl isocyanate gas (MIC) escaped from the Union Carbide’s underground storage plant in Bhopal.

It was a city where I grew up, I played, I went to school. Luckily my parents moved with me to the city when I was a small kid, only after few years of the tragedy. But even now I can remember the grim tales of shock, horror and betrayal which I heard. Many of my family friends and relatives who survived the accident didn’t believe that they will actually see us again.

A picture speaks thousand words. I have posted three different pics of the tragedy. I wouldn’t have written this blog about an incident which happened 25 years ago. But after seeing these images I cried. I had promised that I wouldn’t cry again but I couldn’t control myself today. I cried for the mothers, for the children, for the fathers and for all those countless lives which were lost because of human greed.

3rd December 1984

Shortly after midnight poison gas leaked from factory in Bhopal. There was no warning; none of the plant's safety systems were working. Nearly 40 tonnes of lethal Methyl Isocyanate had escaped from the Union Carbide factory in Bhopal. The pesticide plant was shifted from America because it was ''too risky'' for Americans.

In the city people were sleeping. They woke in darkness to the sound of screams with the gases burning their eyes, noses and mouths. They began retching and coughing up froth streaked with blood. Whole neighborhoods fled in panic, some were trampled, and others convulsed and fell dead. People lost control of their bowels and bladders as they ran. Within hours thousands of dead bodies lay in the streets. 

There were mass funerals and mass cremations as well as disposal of bodies in the Narmada river. 170,000 people were treated at hospitals and temporary dispensaries. 2,000 buffalo, goats, and other animals were collected and buried. Within a few days, leaves on trees yellowed and fell off. Supplies, including food, became scarce owing to suppliers' safety fears.

Authorities estimated that the gas affected around 520,000 people. Of these, 200,000 were below 15 years of age, and 3,000 were pregnant women. In 1991, 3,928 deaths had been certified. Independent organizations recorded 8,000 dead in the first days. Other estimations vary between 10,000 and 30,000. Another 100,000 to 200,000 people are estimated to have permanent injuries of different degrees. It was a holocaust; thousands were gassed.

There were many warnings but the plan management were interested only in making $$$ for the safety of their workers was least important.

The man responsible for the Bhopal disaster, former Union Carbide CEO Warren Anderson. An international arrest warrant was issued for Anderson, who fled justice and disappeared. The US government disavowed any knowledge of his whereabouts, and was unable to locate him. Greenpeace and the The Mirror found Anderson living in New York State, under his own name, in 2002 following less than a month-long investigation. The US government has still not taken Anderson into custody. Such modern Hitler should be hanged, should be stoned to death. Are such people above the law? Is no one answerable to the lives lost? Even after so many years the survivors are fighting for justice. The pesticide residue left in the closed plant is till polluting the environment but who cares for these things?

This should have been an eye opener. But still we can find countless Bhopal in the making. If we look around we will find them. Let’s act now or should we wait for another such accident. My Brothers and sisters don’t think that this won’t happen to you or to your dear ones. This can happen anywhere. So act now.. If you don’t get anyone to protest let me know. Even if no one joins you I will come and fight along with you. I will readily give my life to prevent another Bhopal.

I still don’t understand why man is always running after money. We don’t take anything to our grave but only few sweet memories. Maybe many don’t understand this.

Why should we destroy the masterpiece of the almighty – this green plant our home. Lets us keep it safe for the nest generation. Let’s fight for the survival not for our children but for us.

My last smile

The sky was dark, stars were fading
streets were empty,
lamps were dim

Orion was slain again
Wounded Sagittarius was lost in deep forest
Down below Leo was breathing his last.

A thunder was brewing up in the sky,
the sea was stirring,
the volcanoes fuming

The southern wind swirled over me,
trying to say something
It brought me muffled voices, broken words

Tinctured breeze played the eternal note of sadness
I walked, North Star guiding me,
Southern wind leading me.

Familiar faces, friends, colleagues, relatives
They have grown old, so fast
Prayer, worry & fear were in their eyes.

Between them lay, a human form
Aged and motionless,
with scars of a lonely sailor at rough sea.

Air, Water, Earth, Fire & Sky stood still
Sea and volcanoes stood in abyss
Nobody moved, nothing stirred

Like a lightening it came,
the last flash of life, the smile on his face
a smile full of life, love & hope.

It was a familiar smile
Alas. I recognized it
It was my smile

Yes the smile!!! Once forgotten smile,
the smile of love…the smile of hope
But for whom did I smile last???

The last smile was for thee
The last cry was for thee
I was born for thee

Thou was my destiny,
thou was my salvation
Now I’m dying for thee

Death came riding the tide
swept away the last sign of life
but the smile remained ,
the last smile to grave,
the last smile for thee…

---Abhilash