Towards the distant rainbow

Dark clouds are gathering fast in my sky
The eastern wind has lost its rhythm
Swirling around me in a deafening roar
I cannot even hear my heart crying over my dead soul.

I opened the window to embrace the coldness
I gave myself to the emptiness
The deep cut inside me shivered
The heart throbbed within me,
 trying to break free.

It has started raining heavily
The sky is pouring out,
coming down rapidly to embrace me
to comfort me in its hug, wiping my tears
Washing out all the dirt, all the emotions I had
Purifying me , strengthening me for the battles that awaits me

I stood there watching my last defense fading away with the passing clouds
Helpless, aimless, emotionless
Among the ruin, I have nothing else to hold on
only my shattered dreams and a lifeless soul.

The road ahead is slippery
How can I move forward?
But somehow I have started walking again,
Towards the distant rainbow, where dreams meet the reality
Where the world is not cruel.

I know I will reach there someday,
I know I am bleeding, It hurts a lot
But  I cannot stop, victory & glory awaits me
I have to move forward…

.................................
(It was a cloudy day, with heavy rains. when it started raining I opened my window, felt rain drops on my bare skin, I stood there for few minutes, closing my eyes. There was no rainbow nearby but it should be somewhere, hidden to my eyes)

Abhilash

I am lost

I lost my sleep in my wandering
I searched but didn’t find the peace
Slowly I am losing myself,
Don’t know what it is.
It is a strange feeling,
Never knew it would feel like this
The heart has stopped beating
There is only a vacuum, a numbness
I cannot feel anything
Am I dead or living dead?

I have lost my dreams
It is darkness everywhere
Where am I to go?
Even the dreams has deserted me
Can I be in a dream?
It can’t be, how can I dream with eyes open
But it can’t be real also
How much more I have to suffer?


I have lost my soul
I have a big hole in me
Tearing me apart
It is hurting so deep
Like a deep cut of knife
I am slowly bleeding to death

I was so blind
I was expecting water in this desert
I should have known
I cannot escape my destiny
I cannot escape pain
Alas, it was only a mirage
Am I supposed to die of thirst in this desert?


I just wish that this pain would go away
I just wish that I could sleep in that embrace
I am so empty
I am lost in this wilderness

....................................................

Abhilash

You are my sunshine

Once upon a time i was a human, with humane feelings, I scribbled few lines . i called it a poem .. i found this today & posted it. I was not bad.:D

I lay awake and saw the stars
the heaven looking down at me with envy
because I held you in my arms.
The beach was deserted
but I was full, I had you to hold on.



With your touch,
the magic spells of sadness were broken,
from a stone I had become a human.
Eyes were wide open,
looking at the gorgeous angel with wings.



With a beautiful smile
I slept in your tight embrace.
When I awoke, I was in my bed
It was only a dream,
and I knew
why my eyes were wet.



I wake and sigh,
and sleep to dream everyday thinking of you
of the truth which I cannot hide
I cannot write, I cannot speak or think



You came like a dark cloud in desert
like the sunshine in darkness
you have gone away so far
left me in the dark desert,
to suffer this loneliness alone.


When you are away
I feel as if I have lost my other half
incomplete in two, alive but dead
Alas !!! I know we won’t meet anywhere,
we reside in each other.
But still I miss you.



I have soared high on your wings.
You are my shining star in night
to guide me back to safety.
You are the lighthouse,
to which I steer my ship in this turmoil



You are my happiness,
you are the guiding light when skies are grey.
Take me also with you.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't go away.



You are my sweet little honeypot
from where I drink the nectar of happiness.
You are the princess of happiness from heaven,
who came to love me.
Im still waiting for your embrace,
free me from this world of sadness and humiliation,
take me also back to heaven



I miss you,
because you are my hope,
my sunshine,
my happiness.
you are my savior.

We must love one another or die

I liked this poem a lot .. full of live & hope. Rather than fighting & fooling around lets love one another or die
------------------------------------------
I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
and darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night.

Accurate scholarship can
unearth the whole offence
From Luther until now
That has driven a culture mad,
Find what occurred at Linz,
What huge imago made
A psychopathic god:
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.

Exiled Thucydides knew
All that a speech can say
About Democracy,
And what dictators do,
The elderly rubbish they talk
To an apathetic grave;
Analysed all in his book,
The enlightenment driven away,
The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.

Into this neutral air
Where blind skyscrapers use
Their full height to proclaim
The strength of Collective Man,
Each language pours its vain
Competitive excuse:
But who can live for long
In an euphoric dream;
Out of the mirror they stare,
Imperialism¹s face
And the international wrong.

Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
who have never been happy or good.

The windiest militant trash
Important Persons shout
Is not so crude as our wish:
What mad Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.

From the conservative dark
Into the ethical life
The dense commuters come,
Repeating their morning vow,
"I will be true to the wife.
I'll concentrate more on my work,"
And helpless governors wake
To resume their compulsory game:
Who can release them now,
Who can reach the deaf,
Who can speak for the dumb?

All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Defenceless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages;
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.

-- W. H. Auden

The reason I would die for

It started as a dream,

a dream which kept me alive,

I wandered though the miseries of life,

in pursuit of happiness,

in search of you…

You are my unfulfilled prophesy,

you are all what I had, what I cared for

the reason to live for…

the reason to die for.

Words are caught in my own breath,

drowned in my own feelings,

you keep me floating,

the longing to be together keeps me going.

I waited so long for one answer,

which could have changed the world forever for me.

The sound of words and promises can be hollow

but I cant leave the feelings inside,

don’t let my heart turn to stone.

I had a dream yesterday, a beautiful dream

we were together on a beach ,

countless stars watching us,

walking gently hand in hand.

I still can feel the warmth of your body

the aura of your soul around me.

When I am near you I am alive,

hold me close,

don’t let me fall into the chasm of emptiness.

I want this dream to last forever,

without you I am a dead stone.

I've cried a thousand tears for this moment

looked up the dark sky and prayed.

I don’t know the source of this feeling.

Now It’s just not a feeling but

a promise,

a prophesy,

all because

You are the reason I would live for…

You are the reason I would die for…

--Abhilash

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints.  I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life;  and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Eyes tell, tell me, what you tell me,

A lot of meaning in this line from Goethe ,spiritual & otherwise, i thought i will share this, immerse youself in the beauty of these lines

----------------------------------------------------

April

Eyes tell, tell me, what you tell me,

telling something all too sweet,

making music out of beauty,

with a question hidden deep.

Still I think I know your meaning,

there behind your pupils’ brightness,

love and truth are your heart’s lightness,

that, instead of its own gleaming,

would so truly like to greet,

in a world of dullness, blindness,

one true look of human kindness,

where two kindred spirits meet. 

When you smile

You run away when you see me
leaving more questions than answers
I would run to you but I am stuck
Like an idiot, I wonder
Like a fool, I act

With your smile,
It’s amazing how you light up my lonely soul
Scattering the beauty of pure joy, around me
The sudden rise and slow relapse of your brows
little dimples, long eyelashes…

Oh dear, your sweet smile makes me light
I was drown in your brown eyes
lost in your beautiful hair,
whelmed by the beauty of your dimples.

When you smile, my voice chokes
Body shivers, my mind stops
Every night I can’t sleep
I keep thinking of your smile.
I was waiting so long for you

I was woken from the deep sleep
Half asleep, half awake.
I wondered at my good luck
I have seen it
With a terrible joy, I realized
Deep within from my soul, so pure and beautiful
I have seen the divinity smile

They say you are an angel
Pure and fair
Quite and shy
Warm and happy

I sang in my wilderness
In praise of the divine creation
O-reckless free heart, I sang the song of my life.
Your smile liberated me from my misery

Oh mother nature,
You have shown me your divine form
Which I longed to see before I came back to you.
I prayed, I waited and now I have seen you,
a form to worship in this formless world,
a soul to worship in this soulless world.


In your sparkling smile the world grows
a new world, a new transformation.
a smile more beautiful than the morning sun,
more sweet than the purest honey,
more pure than the mist,
more gentle than the wind in summer.

I am happy
I am content
I am at peace
Because I have seen you smile……

Mother, I can come back to you
Because I have seen your divine form….

You tread on my dreams

I found this poem... it was beautiful so i thought i would post it here

“Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with the golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams beneath your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams…“

W.B. Yeats

My Confessions – Sorry Friend

I'm sorry for hurting you,
I'm sorry for making you cry,
I'm sorry i didn’t realize why I didn’t sleep for days,

Now I know because I hurt you.

 

I must be a fool, 
To have hurt my friend, who has been nothing but kind! 
I only wanted the best for you, within your life;

I thought I had the solution,

But it seems that I was wrong.

I never meant to make you feel, like I’ve cut you with a knife!

It was my mistake,

I opened up completely to you,

Something I NEVER, EVER do again to anyone!

I never thought that the DEVIL, could possibly win!

I had kept him at bay for quarter of century, I thought I won

But alas!!! I lost the battle of life.

I was carried over by his worldly charm

Now a “TRUE” friend, I have really lost!?

I will never see you again,

Lest, my eyes betray me again

I have closed my eyes forever.

May be it is better to be blind.

 

God, I have broken my promise,

I had promised,

That I would never hurt anyone

Even if I am hurt, injured or dead

 

But my Magical Angel I promise,

I will never hurt anyone again

I will never do the silly thing I did to you

I will never, never, never.

 

When I look back, I don’t know where I erred

When I look around, I see people with more sins happy.

But I can’t live with my soul tainted

Forgive me, I have sinned.

 

I am an illusion, fading away

A broken twig, swaying in the wind,

A chariot with a broken wheel

You deserve a better place.

 

I have prayed for you

I have asked, God

to give you my share of happiness, if any

to give me your share of sorrows and worries

I have prayed for victory against devil.

 

- Abhi

 

(I know this doesn’t sounds great may be like someone playing Elvis on a broken guitar, There is 5 more confessions to my dad, mom, sister, God and at last to myself, yes it’s an epic, another new year resolution)

I am alone

The heart beat is slow

my eyes are weak

the future is bleak

its dark everywhere

i cant see my future

its crises everywhere

The journey is big

its frightening

i am alone

no body to depend on

no body with whom i could play

i could cry

i could laugh

no body

 with whom i could share my success

 with whom i could share my dreams

alas

I am alone

walking ....

crying....

not a single hand to give me support...