साए_की_तरह_आई_वोह..उस परी की याद मे

उस परी की याद मे... फिर के नाम

उस खूबसूरत चाँद की याद मे जिसे देख चांदनी भी शर्माये......

छोड़ गयी मुझे इस बेरहम दुनिया मे,

दीन का  उज़ाला लूट  लिया

रात का अँधेरा छोड़ दिया 

साए की तरह आई वोह ....

लोगों का कहना है 

चांदनी बड़ी खुबसूरत  है

रौशनी को छोड़, लोग अँधेरे को पूजते  है

हमे क्या पता, दीन या रात कौन खुबसूरत

हमे तो बस अँधेरे में जीना है

छोड़ यादों को आया इस दूर

भीड़ में, इस अनजाने शहर मे 

लेकिन यादों ने साथ ना छोडा 

साए ने भी साथ ना छोडा

जला डाला तेरी तस्वीर इस सौच मे

की तेरी याद अब ना आईगी

पर कैसे मीठा सकू उस तसवीर को

जो मेरे रूह में बस गई है

दिल को मनाया कई बार

पर दिल मे एक कसक सी लगी है

एक अजब सी बेचैनी है

वह ना जीने देथी है ना मरने

अजनबी गलियो में भटक रहा हू

अपने ही घर का पता ढूँढ रहा हू

इस कश्म्कश में ना जाने क्या कर बैठा

ख़ुद पराया हो गया हू

किसी हमदर्द ने पूछा मेरे इस दर्द का कारण

लब्ज़ो में ना बता सका दिल का हाल

कोशिश करता तो भी क्या कहता

व्यर्थ की आशा है फीर भी यह अरमान लिए

घूम रहा हू कि एक एक बार तुमसे मिल सकूँ

अपने इस लाचारी का इलाज कर सकूँ

मेरे इस अधूरे जीवन को पूरा कर सकूँ

अपने आप से मिल सकू

साए की तरह आई वोह…

- अभिलाष चन्द्र 

Faking happiness: Show-off or real?

Read the First part : Are you happy? http://zoomview.blogspot.in/2012/09/are-you-happy.html
You dont need to be better than others just be the best for the right person.

We are always in a race. We want to get ahead of our friends, colleagues, siblings and everyone else. We do all those absurd things to prove our superiority. But really do we have to? We forget that the world is round and not a flat line. Can anyone tell me who is first, who is last in the circle? We all are running around in circles and expecting to come first!

We are too rigid in our life. We try to live life on our own terms. There are very few blessed people who can do that. Most of us are not that strong. We have our own conditions of acceptance for almost all areas of our life. Yesterday I was talking to a person whom I admire & respect a lot. I liked one of the comment made. Ferrari is the symbol of engineering perfection. But will we get real happiness if we drive Ferrari with a stranger who doesn’t care about us?  Travelling in an auto rickshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_rickshaw) will be far more rewarding if we are with people who can understand the spoken words & the un-spoken feelings. We may work hard all life to get Ferrari with our strict conditions and rules but in this process we may alienate the people who love us.  We will show our Ferrari to all our friends & relatives but deep within we will be poor.

Some time back I read an article about a lady in china. She had her own share of failures in life.  Her college mates had planned a get together, invited her also.  She was not ready to face her old friends with her failures in life and relationships. She put an ad in one of the Chinese social networking sites.  She was willing to spend a night with anyone who had a BMW and willing to accompany her for the function. Her social rating would have soared for one night when she goes out with her rich boyfriend driving a BMW. Will she get real happiness by that show –off? Deep within, she will be cursing herself. She was faking happiness.

Even though most of don’t go up to this extend but aren’t we doing the same at some level? We are saying no to small happiness because our social rating conscious ego doesn’t allow it.
These are some of the real life questions which I heard from few of my friends and relatives. I cannot disclose the names or identity but all are real ones.

• How can I be in a job which pays less than my friend who was not intelligent as me?  The job will be the most suited for us with satisfaction and mental piece but no we have to get ahead of our buddies to show our salary slip. In new job we may lose our piece of mind but who cares… our ego wins.
• How can I marry someone who is not as handsome as my best friend’s husband? How can I marry a person who doesn’t have the physique of a model to which my sister was married? 
• I studied up to BTech; how can I marry a mere Software Engineer in India when my colleague’s sister who had only a mere undergraduate degree married a team leader with L1 visa!!!
• How can I live in a 2BHK flat when my subordinate just purchased a 4BHK flat? 

What are we trying to prove – that we have a better salary; that our partners are better looking with great physique & intelligence. We are faking happiness sin front of our friends, sisters, brothers, relatives, subordinates but deep within we are hammered every second. We regret the wrong decisions we took but we don’t have the courage to rectify that.  We live a life of misery and unhappiness only because our ego didn’t allow it. Our ego may win but we will lose in this race.

Pause for a second, look at you, the life you are living. Are you happy with it? Adjust your conditions to allow love and happiness to prosper. Open the doors & windows. Let happiness come and embrace you.  You may not win the ego race but you will win the life’s race.

P.S.: When i was writing this article i saw a very good image in Facebook. I have attached it to the article. I Hope it it royalty free.

Mothers: the visible God in our life

Last day I was burning my calories in gym. I was jogging in treadmill. There was an old film playing on the TV set. The story revolves around a father and mother, their struggles on how they bring up their son. The son goes to colleges, marries a girl and comes back. He mistreats his parents and after selling the family home; he forces his old parents to live in an old age home. This is not a unique theme; we can see the same plot in many movies.

The sad part is that we can see this in real life in many homes. I never understood how someone can be so cruel. In a family there can be difference of opinions. In my own family there were many occasions when I had the strong opinion difference with my dad & mom. I am not proud of those moments & I don’t think either my dad will be.  As they become old they may need special attention and care. We may be tired of them but have we ever wondered how many sacrifices they have done for us. How many nights sleep they have lost because of us when we were kids?  My mother had carried me in her womb for 10 months, nourishing me, giving her share of oxygen & food. How can I ever repay that?  I would have spoiled their many nights sleep with my crying when I was an infant. How about the nights when I was sick & my parents took care of me – sitting, sleeping beside me, hugging me, and giving me the warmth from their body. How can someone forget all these?

It’s very sad that we only worry about our comfort.  Even the thought of a small sacrifice irritates us.  It is a very sad truth that there are many children who conveniently forget about the sacrifices by their parents. Few days ago I visited such a place where I could find many such stories.
 
(http://zoomview.blogspot.in/2012/08/the-august-diary-different-independence.html) I got a lot of love from those mothers. I have only pity for those children who couldn’t enjoy this true love.
 It is a belief that only God can give life. When I look around I can see only person doing that miracle. So if the mothers can give life, there should be some divinity in them. They should be God. What is the use of going to temple or church if you have hurt your mother?

 In the old pagan culture, womanhood was considered divine. They commanded respect. Natural elements were considered to be feminine because of the power they held. They called nature “mother nature”. This was true in almost all regions of the planet. But slowly the powerful men conspired against this & created lot of rules in the name of God to grab power. I don’t agree with such bearded learned scholars who oppress this divine creation.  God will never hear them because they have already hurt him/her.

Towards the distant rainbow

Dark clouds are gathering fast in my sky
The eastern wind has lost its rhythm
Swirling around me in a deafening roar
I cannot even hear my heart crying over my dead soul.

I opened the window to embrace the coldness
I gave myself to the emptiness
The deep cut inside me shivered
The heart throbbed within me,
 trying to break free.

It has started raining heavily
The sky is pouring out,
coming down rapidly to embrace me
to comfort me in its hug, wiping my tears
Washing out all the dirt, all the emotions I had
Purifying me , strengthening me for the battles that awaits me

I stood there watching my last defense fading away with the passing clouds
Helpless, aimless, emotionless
Among the ruin, I have nothing else to hold on
only my shattered dreams and a lifeless soul.

The road ahead is slippery
How can I move forward?
But somehow I have started walking again,
Towards the distant rainbow, where dreams meet the reality
Where the world is not cruel.

I know I will reach there someday,
I know I am bleeding, It hurts a lot
But  I cannot stop, victory & glory awaits me
I have to move forward…

.................................
(It was a cloudy day, with heavy rains. when it started raining I opened my window, felt rain drops on my bare skin, I stood there for few minutes, closing my eyes. There was no rainbow nearby but it should be somewhere, hidden to my eyes)

Abhilash

I am lost

I lost my sleep in my wandering
I searched but didn’t find the peace
Slowly I am losing myself,
Don’t know what it is.
It is a strange feeling,
Never knew it would feel like this
The heart has stopped beating
There is only a vacuum, a numbness
I cannot feel anything
Am I dead or living dead?

I have lost my dreams
It is darkness everywhere
Where am I to go?
Even the dreams has deserted me
Can I be in a dream?
It can’t be, how can I dream with eyes open
But it can’t be real also
How much more I have to suffer?


I have lost my soul
I have a big hole in me
Tearing me apart
It is hurting so deep
Like a deep cut of knife
I am slowly bleeding to death

I was so blind
I was expecting water in this desert
I should have known
I cannot escape my destiny
I cannot escape pain
Alas, it was only a mirage
Am I supposed to die of thirst in this desert?


I just wish that this pain would go away
I just wish that I could sleep in that embrace
I am so empty
I am lost in this wilderness

....................................................

Abhilash

The August diary - A different independence day & Onam with Mothers

It was time for another of those special moments in life.

This 15th August was different for me and many of my friends. This month we decided to visit an old age home (Hope Foundation). I have visited this place many times. But lately I didn’t go there. I talked about this to my friend and she readily agreed.  With the Onam festival around the corner we decided to make it large. The idea of giving a grand feast and OnaKodi gifts was too exciting (Thanks Annie for this). Even on that day I could visualize the warmth and the smiles on the mothers. But there was a problem I had lost the contact number of the volunteer “cheechi”.  I contacted my ex-colleagues and got the number from them. I called and confirmed the event on 15th.  I was little worried about the catering part. Usually at this time of the year all the caterers will be busy. It was a great relief when Vinayaka caterers accepted the order. Even then I was doubtful so I called them twice on two different days to re-confirm the order. Another anxious moment was when I had to go shopping for buying new clothes for the mothers. I had done shopping with my sister, cousins, mom & very few girlfriends but selecting 11 Sarees plus Churidars and few other dress was really a gigantic task. My shopping lasts for a maximum of one hour and on this particular day I went shopping for more than 4 hours with one of my best friend. Now I can understand the pain my other friends describe when they go shopping with their wives.

Being a holiday I was not sure how many people will join us. Many had doubts about the visit. I even tried to bribe few with the lunch menu :P.  Annie did a great job of shopping and co-coordinating the visit. I think I am getting better at my management skills. I can easily delegate a lot of things :P. In the last few days we got a small crowd for the visit.

On the D day we decided to meet at a common place before going to the place. I parked the car near the gate and entered the premises. Everyone present there was waiting with a big smile and open arms for us. I was visiting this place after 2 years but surprisingly few mothers remembered me. Slowly we started talking with everyone. There was laughter, smile all around. There was melody of love in the air, a sweet gentle music which was produced by the resonance of the chords in heart. I could feel this in every one of us. I was talking to one of the mothers there. She was sitting in chair and I was on my knees holding her hand. She enquired about my job, how I come to office etc. When I told her that I drive 26 km (one way) everyday, she advised that I should take a house near office. I told her that my parents are at home and they need someone to talk to everyday so I don’t consider driving this distance a burden. At that moment I could see the tears in hers eyes, I could feel the love in her gentle hug. She would have prayed for a son like me. I felt this love in many other mothers whom I talked. I believe all the angels who came with me on that day would have felt the same. We had so many mothers who are praying for us.

Surprisingly the caterers were punctual. They reached the hope foundation at 11 AM itself! They had confirmed this with me couple of times but I didn’t believe that they will be on time. The food was delicious. An A+ for them. They are going to be my preferred caterers for any event I organize.

It was time for our lunch. The delicious traditional Kerala style feast in banana leaf was waiting. We served the food for mothers. It was fun, a collective effort. By the time we finished serving we were sort of experts in traditional Kerala food serving. After the mothers finished their lunch we had the lunch. There were few kids who preferred sitting down on the floor on for the food. After we finished our lunch it was time for the OnaKodi making it a memorable Onam for everyone.

It was not only an independence day for the country but an independence day for me also. On that day I saw something so beautiful in all those faces. Now I know what is important for me. Now when I look back I know that I will be coming to this place again.

p.s. it was my mom’s birthday. How can I celebrate it better? :) On that shopping spree I bought her also a sari. Early morning (if you can say that 7 AM is early :D ) I tiptoed to the kitchen where she was busy preparing breakfast, wished her a happy birthday and gave her the birthday gift. She smiled & I was so happy for it. The day started on a bright side.

This was one of the best days of my life :)
Thanks for all those who supported ...may god bless each one of you.

July diary – A visit back to the dome of love

I had almost stopped zooming for couple of years. I didn’t find much inspiration in writing.  This month was special; I was in a time travel… travelling back few years. I like small kids a lot. Years back I my birthday celebration was with small kids at an orphanage. I wanted to visit it again. Last time I went alone. This time I wanted few more people. I was not sure how people will react to this new initiative. It was a leap of faith from my side. There was nothing to worry; many liked the idea. A FB group (http://www.facebook.com/groups/ToGiveHope/) was created for this. Invited few close friends & they in turn invited few of their friends. I called mother superior and confirmed the date & time of our visit. It was an adoption centre so they had kids from 3 days to few years. Few days before our visit we bought few food supplements & chocolates from a nearby store. We bought the entire stocks of junior horlicks in that store. The look on the cashier was priceless when she saw the items. She would have imagined that I had a really big family: P

The visit was wonderful. We were around 10 people.  Once we reached the Shishu Bhavan, it was a different feeling. Sister guided us to the first floor. For a moment before the door was opened I felt sort of a sweet tension building in me. When I saw those small sweet eyes looking at us I forgot all the tensions I had. Few of them came running towards us with hands raised. I felt a very deep bond with Aisha. She was smiling at me. Her small eyes had a sort of calmness and love inside which I cannot describe in words.  How could I resist? I quickly picked her up & hugged her before anyone else claims her. She put her small arms around my neck dissolving all the barriers. For a moment I could sense my eyes getting wet.

It was a big family, soon few others kids also came towards me I lifted them also. Soon we became one among them, playing singing with them. Their sweet smiles, kiss, hugs & the smell of milk was priceless. I saw one engineer there, he wanted to play with my watch, turning all the keys and asking a lot of questions. Somehow I managed to satisfy his curiosity.

The most difficult part was going back. Before the visit I had jokingly warned my colleagues that they shouldn’t take those small kids back with them to home without permission. Really, I felt like taking at least one with me. They were so sweet. And finally when we started walking back few of the kids came and caught my hands pulling me back, another smart chap caught my leg. It was with very heavy heart that I had to put them down and go back. My heart was full, words were few. When we came down, we could see the kids crying asking us stay there with them. I quickly walked away from that place. If I had stayed there for few more minutes, tears would have rolled down. When I was driving back there was calmness in my soul which I didn’t felt for many months. I was breathing, I was alive & I knew how to love. I know this small visit has changed me for good.

There is another pretty good article written by my colleague regarding this visit. Check it out.
http://mypieceofbluesky.blogspot.in/2012/07/get-out-of-your-comfort-zone.html

तुझे भूलना चाहा पर कैसे

तुझे भूलना चाहा पर कैसे 

मेरे हर रूह  में समां गई है तू

दिल रोकों तो कैसे 

दिल के हर धड़कन में तू धड़कती है 

सासों को रोकों तो कैसे 

हर सास में तू चलती है 

तेरी यादों को भूलना चाहा पर कैसे 

तेरे यादों में ही तो जीता हूं

आँखें बंद करों तो कैसे 

हर समां में बस तू ही 

You are my sunshine

Once upon a time i was a human, with humane feelings, I scribbled few lines . i called it a poem .. i found this today & posted it. I was not bad.:D

I lay awake and saw the stars
the heaven looking down at me with envy
because I held you in my arms.
The beach was deserted
but I was full, I had you to hold on.



With your touch,
the magic spells of sadness were broken,
from a stone I had become a human.
Eyes were wide open,
looking at the gorgeous angel with wings.



With a beautiful smile
I slept in your tight embrace.
When I awoke, I was in my bed
It was only a dream,
and I knew
why my eyes were wet.



I wake and sigh,
and sleep to dream everyday thinking of you
of the truth which I cannot hide
I cannot write, I cannot speak or think



You came like a dark cloud in desert
like the sunshine in darkness
you have gone away so far
left me in the dark desert,
to suffer this loneliness alone.


When you are away
I feel as if I have lost my other half
incomplete in two, alive but dead
Alas !!! I know we won’t meet anywhere,
we reside in each other.
But still I miss you.



I have soared high on your wings.
You are my shining star in night
to guide me back to safety.
You are the lighthouse,
to which I steer my ship in this turmoil



You are my happiness,
you are the guiding light when skies are grey.
Take me also with you.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't go away.



You are my sweet little honeypot
from where I drink the nectar of happiness.
You are the princess of happiness from heaven,
who came to love me.
Im still waiting for your embrace,
free me from this world of sadness and humiliation,
take me also back to heaven



I miss you,
because you are my hope,
my sunshine,
my happiness.
you are my savior.

The dilemma of bachelorhood – III: My marriage - To be, or not to be

To be, or not to be: that is the question. This question is plaguing me for some time.

Everyone around me keeps reminding about this. It seems that they have only one mission left in their life.

If the marriage is so divine & special why is so much violence associated with it? Why is the divorce rate always increasing (For the time being, let’s remove the forced marriage from this discussion)?

I believe that a marriage should happen between two individuals who have mutual respect, understanding, love and affection between themselves. Is it really happening this way? Even many “love” (or lust?) marriages end in failures. I have seen some horrific violence in some of my close relatives, some to the verge of death. With one look I could see that the choice was wrong.

In many cases lives most important decision is made in few minutes without much thinking. Many believe in the matching of horoscope but I believe matching of the mind & soul should matter more. In ancient times when there was no other method of selection, the horoscope matching was the only method of selection/rejection but is it really relevant now? Even the barriers like caste, religion, language or even citizenship comes second. God didn’t create these barriers it only we humans who have created these barriers and divided the paradise created by God in this solar system and created a hell out of it.

We start about thinking about that special person when we are in teens. Did I think much about at that time? Hmm didn’t I? I had few crushes but nothing more; just a small smile that’s all. I thought that I will think about all those when I am mature enough to handle my emotions. That was the best decision I took at that time. May be it’s the overdose of the things I read but I believed (still believe) the love happens only once and should be nurtured and protected carefully. I would take a decision only after a lot of thought. If we look in nature a rice plant produce many rice seeds. In natural habitat the survival rate of seeds are very less and only a few grow into another cereal plant. In contrast a coconut tree produces much less nuts but with many layers of protection. In vast ocean many islands have only this tree. I fall into this later category. Life is so small for love and very big to fight and worry.

When I begin my career, in one of my projects I was associated with a Business Analyst. He was one of those special characters with whom many couldn’t work. Working in his team was the biggest challenge. My colleagues would have preferred Kalapanni instead. Being a little research oriented I was chosen to assist him technically in a research sort of project. I had already heard the tales of Don Quixote. I approached with apprehension. But soon we were able to work as a team and made significant progress. I stuck to my expertise of technical field and gave my big ears to him. Soon he would speak a lot of things to me & I patiently listened to all those. Sometimes I was on the verge of collapse but I held myself together (Some time I felt like kicking him from the top of the building but being a junior engineer I was pretty helpless). In few weeks actually this strategy paid off. He also started listening to me and very frequently asked my opinions on a lot matters. Sometimes I would scold him!!! The role was actually reversed!!! Anyone would have thought that I was the senior & he my junior. That’s the power of listening (not hearing).  That’s not the main point very often he would say that he is 30 and still a bachelor. In a hurry he got married. But their marriage didn’t last for even 6 months. They made the biggest mistake of rushing towards wedlock. May be the peer pressure might have worked against them. But ultimately both of them had to suffer. One should listen to the heart, analyze the pulse & take a decision and not rush into it.

In old times the engagement period was the time when the couples identified with each other, their aspirations, their passions, their dreams but now it has become a mere ceremony. Initially people could decide whether they would go forward or not. In recent times how many such cases have we heard of when the people have backed of after realizing the folly? Listen to your heart don’t think about the society. Ultimately it what we believe that matters. In western countries (many places in India also) we can see people staying together before the vows to decide whether they can spend rest of their lives together or not. I don’t think I will have to do this to decide. Till now I have kept my mind, body & soul pure for the special one, Resisted many temptations. I t was a real fight of character & wits. But I clung to my beliefs. Whether it’s mentally or physically let it be for the only one even if it’s only for few minutes.

To live happily ever after ideally one should marry their best friends with whom we can talk endlessly. All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand. Even if I am married to the most beautiful women in world within few months I will lose interest in her. Scientifically it is established that on an average the new xing or x factor lasts for around 24 months. Then something else is required, after this initial period, for the continuation. Rather than husbands and wife the couples should be best friends with whom they can share all their worries, anxieties, fear, aspiration & dreams with a belief that the other person will be around to support. There should be enough space for individualism but close enough to lean for a support after the day’s hard work. Rather than running behind money, fame, promotion we should be able to spend time with family. In India men always held had an upper hand and made all the decision for the family. Many didn’t even consult with their spouse. Men held the traditional role of bread earner and women looked after the children at home. Women were shut behind the doors and had very limited rights. Even among the well educated and successful women I have seen this submissive attitude. After marriage it seems that their life has ended. I believe it’s only a phase. Life should blossom to the highest level, should soar to the heights of happiness and love. With the changing demographics & life style I think this should be changed. Women should also get the every right enjoyed by men. They should take their own decisions and should fight (not physical I don’t believe in this, the clash should of ideas). It a companion we seek for the life’s travel not a foe or stranger. The famous Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar married life was very pious (http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/12/thiruvalluvar-ideal-person-to-emulate.html) ideally we should emulate him in our married life. The journey won’t be smooth; there will be lots of ups and downs. Parents, friends, everyone will go. Some will be replaced with framed photos. In all these difficult situations we should be around to support, to fuel the flight, to pull push when the life, to lend a helping hand, to give the shoulders to the person we said “I do”.

What type of a person will I get married?  I would give only two attributes. The person with whom I can talk endlessly who could be my best friend and who could inspire me to write poems on her. She will be the reason I would live for and the reason I would die for (http://zoomview.blogspot.com/2009/08/reason-i-would-die-for.html)

Is marriage the only way of salvation? Well I don’t think so. There are a lot of single people in our society who had achieved a lot. Most of my role models like Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Swami Vivekananda, Queen Elizabeth-I were single ( the list is quite big). There is more to life than getting married to some one about whom you don’t know much. Always something is not necessarily better than nothing. There are very high chances that I will end up in a monastery or with some NGO helping out others.

After the Brahmacharya, Grihastha ash-ram or Sanyas for me? Only time can tell it whether I will live as an eternal brahmachari or not. Either way life seems beautiful full of challenges ahead )

The dilemma of bachelorhood – II – Marriage

Can marriage be the silver bullet for the many problems of bachelorhood? Marriage is an institution. It is a special bond created between two individuals, two souls joined together for eternity. It is said that matches are made in heaven and the knots are tied on earth. (Well that would be cool :D , the biggest matrimonial site running on high end servers in heaven. Looking at the divorce rate, whoever managing that would be having a very tough time now. I am sure his appraisal would have gone down terribly bad in last few years) 


Confucious had a wonderful definition “Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain “


The history of Marriage goes even beyond the ancient times even before the first history chapter was recorded. Even during the time when the Human race was evolving from the primates we can find the natural evidence of first marriages. (There was no part, church, temple or feast). The marriage arose from the primeval needs of human species. It legalized the access to women so as to reduce the competition within the clan. Over a period of time, the beliefs,   the principles, the customs and rituals associated with the marriage has evolved. In ancient times no specific ceremony was required. Only the mutual consent of the people getting married was required. It was simple. But soon it became the most complex of all. There was no middle men or religion involved. It was a promise a trust between two individuals. 


In many societies it soon became a business/political or economic arrangement. The consent of two people, love or affection was not considered. Marriage became a tool to expand the pride & power of man. The freedom which women got was curbed. It was soon replaced with a false sense of pride & accomplishments. In some places people had to pay marriage tax to marry the person they like.  If we turn back our history book, we can find many instances when helpless women had to marry against her wish for the pride of her family, to protect her kingdom from the more powerful kings. Some even didn’t get this respect. Many had to live as concubines of the powerful. Some society practices polygamy. But I feel this is against the basic nature of human race. I don’t remember where but I had read in some scientific article that a person can live peacefully, take care of the emotional & physical need of only one person. 
Around 1700 the process of process of registering the marriage was introduced in Europe. Rest of the world soon followed suit. 


In the modern society marriage is foundation on which our culture & civilization stands. Marriages are formed to reproduce (not always). It is the evolution of next generation from the parent, the passing of the genes to the next generation. It is the cradle of wisdom and love in which the children acquires the skills to live a successful life ahead. (it is unfortunate that there are millions of children on streets or even in many homes who haven’t seen the power of love or family). All the religions give high importance to marriage & consider this as a sacred union of the two souls & God.


There are some bad customs/practices like dowry, child marriage, polygamy still associated with it. Our education teaches us how to create spacecraft, to become a doctor or engineer but it doesn’t teach us to live in family, on how to spread love & happiness or to react against these evil customs. Throughout we can see the erosion of the core values like mutual respect, individualism, sincerity, affection from this sacred bond.

The reason I would die for

It started as a dream,

a dream which kept me alive,

I wandered though the miseries of life,

in pursuit of happiness,

in search of you…

You are my unfulfilled prophesy,

you are all what I had, what I cared for

the reason to live for…

the reason to die for.

Words are caught in my own breath,

drowned in my own feelings,

you keep me floating,

the longing to be together keeps me going.

I waited so long for one answer,

which could have changed the world forever for me.

The sound of words and promises can be hollow

but I cant leave the feelings inside,

don’t let my heart turn to stone.

I had a dream yesterday, a beautiful dream

we were together on a beach ,

countless stars watching us,

walking gently hand in hand.

I still can feel the warmth of your body

the aura of your soul around me.

When I am near you I am alive,

hold me close,

don’t let me fall into the chasm of emptiness.

I want this dream to last forever,

without you I am a dead stone.

I've cried a thousand tears for this moment

looked up the dark sky and prayed.

I don’t know the source of this feeling.

Now It’s just not a feeling but

a promise,

a prophesy,

all because

You are the reason I would live for…

You are the reason I would die for…

--Abhilash

Love is ....

Love is a reason to live and a reason to die for ....

Many people say that i don't love . may be i am not so outgoing, sniffing everyone out... but that doesn't means that my heart doesn't beat.. it has its own rhythm . may be an overdose of all what i read but i believe in it. When my frnd asked since i dont have big expectation from any1 so y i need love. thats when i said "Love is a reason to live and a reason to die for ...."

this can be 2 an individual or some goal, some destination where we want to reach before we depart from this world and that time we are happy because our life had a meaning. Love is just understaing & finding this meaning.

Love is....

Love is that enviable state that knows no envy or vanity, only empathy and a longing to be greater than oneself

A love letter

I miss you, my darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always reminds me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often, and I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of who I am is slowly slipping away.

I am trying, though. At night when I am alone, I call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me. Last night, in my dreams, I saw you on the pier. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sunlight. I am struck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful, I think as I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that others have been watching you as well. “Do you know her?” they ask me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer with the truth. “Better than my own hart.”

I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for, and when you return my embrace, I give myself over to this moment, at peace once again.

I raise my hand and gently touch you cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard and your skin is soft, and I wonder for a moment if you’ll pull back, but of course you don’t. You never have, and it is at tomes like this that I know what my purpose is in life.
I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to project you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be. 
But then, as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us.

I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is you place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know that it is impossible.

And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you. But soon, always too soon, your image vanish and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry. 

It is the message in the bottle... the message to the lost love....

Love can make the imperfect perfect

Last day I had a discussion about love with one of my good friends. I thought I will post few ideas here :)

Why do we think much before falling in love? People make many calculations... Whether the girl is rich / beautiful or working in MNC and whether the guy is rich/handsome/ well established... I mean exceptions do happen but People try to eliminate -ve factors as much as possible.

When I was asked this question, I didn’t have any ready made answers but in a matter of around 30 minutes I wrote down few things. You all will have different views about them but this is what I wrote.

Do we consider all the factors? People look all these for marriage but love its different something divine... does it happen it that way????? I am not sure I know it happens just like that, you don’t have any control over it , rest of the things are compromises , an adjustment that’s all . They think its love but I don’t think :)

Yep I am naïve but that’s what I am, that’s the way I think. Very few understand this pure language & may be that’s why I am week in heart but I still have faith in my ideas.

Love doesn’t demand anything, you cannot control it, and you cannot say that from this day onwards I will love or from this day onwards I will stop loving. It’s free like the air we breathe, flowing ….. Without any bounds, any control, raising our souls to the divinity.

Love doesn’t mean that you have to be with the person you love. Even if you are miles apart, even if you are dead the love flows, it’s un-breakable.

This is universal like lord Buddha said about the mother loves for her child. The sacrifice, the pain made for it.

Love has tremendous power. I know I can write better poems, I can write better code, I can train people in much better way I can do a lot of things which many haven’t even dreamed of .. Maybe I only require some inspiration some love which could power me for the rest of my life. If you have read the poems of Yeats or Rabindranath Tagore you will find the intensity of their love it. Tagore was one of the finest romantic poets ever.

If you have read tempest by the wizard of oz, you will know that it is the heart that matters. In that story our young heroine Miranda falls in love with Ferdinand. Her father said that he is not beautiful when compared to other human beings, ( they were staying in an island without any contact with other human beings .. good story read it when you get time), but she said that if Ferdinand is ugly then she don’t want to see others, just him :)

That what love does. Makes everything perfect & I believe it has the power to transform anything, overcome all the odds. Why should I say more, history has proved it many times?

Can u hold romantic love forever? Sometimes it may visit for few minutes, 1 day, few weeks or maybe for entire life. We should thank god for that short period. Yep we will be sad after that but don’t you think that short period can give u energy to last an entire life? We worry about the things we lost & forget about the joy experienced when we were together. The negative thoughts overshadow the good ones & it becomes a pain rather than the fire to keep us warm.

(Now u will think that I am mad ... not really just lost few nuts: D)

Most memorable moments of my life may last for few minutes , or days & I may be sad after that but I think I can continue my life with that green picture in my mind , I wont regret it.
Take the possibility that I will fall madly in love with someone but due to some sheer bad luck we can’t live together. I might have spent few good moments may be few hrs, few days or weeks but I will cherish that moments for rest of my life & it will be the fire power to keep me warm. I won’t feel bad because I heard my heart & did what was right and I won’t regret it @ death bed. Mostly we regret the things which we didn’t rather than the things we did.

When we lose some people give their life but they are cowards. They are fools, God has sent us down with some designs & I believe we have to fulfill it. I am not a coward & don’t believe in ending ones life.

Slowly I am also learning to appreciate what I have & live every moment of life without hurting others.

I can still write pages about sacrifice, pure love & all those things hmmm let me stop. For the time being this is sufficient.

My last smile

The sky was dark, stars were fading
streets were empty,
lamps were dim

Orion was slain again
Wounded Sagittarius was lost in deep forest
Down below Leo was breathing his last.

A thunder was brewing up in the sky,
the sea was stirring,
the volcanoes fuming

The southern wind swirled over me,
trying to say something
It brought me muffled voices, broken words

Tinctured breeze played the eternal note of sadness
I walked, North Star guiding me,
Southern wind leading me.

Familiar faces, friends, colleagues, relatives
They have grown old, so fast
Prayer, worry & fear were in their eyes.

Between them lay, a human form
Aged and motionless,
with scars of a lonely sailor at rough sea.

Air, Water, Earth, Fire & Sky stood still
Sea and volcanoes stood in abyss
Nobody moved, nothing stirred

Like a lightening it came,
the last flash of life, the smile on his face
a smile full of life, love & hope.

It was a familiar smile
Alas. I recognized it
It was my smile

Yes the smile!!! Once forgotten smile,
the smile of love…the smile of hope
But for whom did I smile last???

The last smile was for thee
The last cry was for thee
I was born for thee

Thou was my destiny,
thou was my salvation
Now I’m dying for thee

Death came riding the tide
swept away the last sign of life
but the smile remained ,
the last smile to grave,
the last smile for thee…

---Abhilash

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints.  I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life;  and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

When you smile

You run away when you see me
leaving more questions than answers
I would run to you but I am stuck
Like an idiot, I wonder
Like a fool, I act

With your smile,
It’s amazing how you light up my lonely soul
Scattering the beauty of pure joy, around me
The sudden rise and slow relapse of your brows
little dimples, long eyelashes…

Oh dear, your sweet smile makes me light
I was drown in your brown eyes
lost in your beautiful hair,
whelmed by the beauty of your dimples.

When you smile, my voice chokes
Body shivers, my mind stops
Every night I can’t sleep
I keep thinking of your smile.
I was waiting so long for you

I was woken from the deep sleep
Half asleep, half awake.
I wondered at my good luck
I have seen it
With a terrible joy, I realized
Deep within from my soul, so pure and beautiful
I have seen the divinity smile

They say you are an angel
Pure and fair
Quite and shy
Warm and happy

I sang in my wilderness
In praise of the divine creation
O-reckless free heart, I sang the song of my life.
Your smile liberated me from my misery

Oh mother nature,
You have shown me your divine form
Which I longed to see before I came back to you.
I prayed, I waited and now I have seen you,
a form to worship in this formless world,
a soul to worship in this soulless world.


In your sparkling smile the world grows
a new world, a new transformation.
a smile more beautiful than the morning sun,
more sweet than the purest honey,
more pure than the mist,
more gentle than the wind in summer.

I am happy
I am content
I am at peace
Because I have seen you smile……

Mother, I can come back to you
Because I have seen your divine form….

Notebook...when i cried

Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

It will tear a hole in my heart… I will cry. These were the warnings. Hole in my heart!!! That would be the biggest news for all my friends from school, college and all those who knew me.

I had doubts, when my friend suggested this book saying that if I write a story about my life it would be something similar. We had a bet. Now who won? Well that’s the story.

A copy for me was sent across oceans. Last lazy Sunday afternoon, I started reading this story of two people who were destined to be together till eternity. This was one of the most poignant and compelling stories I have ever read.

Like a symphony from the master, the story develops and casts an irresistible spell.

Two teenagers from opposite sides of the tracks fall in love. Spending one idyllic summer together in the small town of New Bern, Noah Calhoun and Allie Nelson do not meet again for 14 years. Noah has returned from WWII to restore the house of his dreams, having inherited a large sum of money. Allie was engaged to powerful attorney Lon Hammond, who she cared a lot. Lon was also a nice man who loved Allie deeply. When she reads a newspaper story about Noah's restoration project, she shows up on his porch step, re-entering his life for two days. Will Allie choose Lon or Noah? Who are the two old people? Read and discover.

I can spill the beans here but I will not. By the time I finished I could find my cheeks wet and I knew that I had lost the bet. I was planning to read this book while traveling on Sunday during my 10 hour journey. Due to some critical work at office I slept very late on Saturday (or Sunday morning) and so it saved me from some blushes in a public place.  It is a one night read story. The language is simple with no complex twists or sub-plots. It is the simplicity which I liked the most. It will evoke so many different emotions as you continue to read. It is worth reading.

Now why would somebody have a bet with me? This story goes back almost a decade. (I have just started writing. I don’t know the climax. Even I am not sure whether anybody will publish it or not but maybe after another decade it may be the best seller:) , might be another notebook or wings of fire). It was a debate where young teenagers like me were airing their views on love in digital age. When my turn came I narrated a story almost similar. I lost narrowly (got the second place). But I believed every word I said. It was possible to keep the mind and body pure for one. It is difficult but not impossible.

Notebook also portrays the purity, simplicity and truthfulness. For being happy you don’t need enormous wealth. It is the few other wonders like books, music and such small things which are more precious. This is a story, which almost everybody wants in their life, but is afraid to work for it, ask for it.

So friends get a copy for yourself, you will read it again.