Faking happiness: Show-off or real?

Read the First part : Are you happy? http://zoomview.blogspot.in/2012/09/are-you-happy.html
You dont need to be better than others just be the best for the right person.

We are always in a race. We want to get ahead of our friends, colleagues, siblings and everyone else. We do all those absurd things to prove our superiority. But really do we have to? We forget that the world is round and not a flat line. Can anyone tell me who is first, who is last in the circle? We all are running around in circles and expecting to come first!

We are too rigid in our life. We try to live life on our own terms. There are very few blessed people who can do that. Most of us are not that strong. We have our own conditions of acceptance for almost all areas of our life. Yesterday I was talking to a person whom I admire & respect a lot. I liked one of the comment made. Ferrari is the symbol of engineering perfection. But will we get real happiness if we drive Ferrari with a stranger who doesn’t care about us?  Travelling in an auto rickshaw (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_rickshaw) will be far more rewarding if we are with people who can understand the spoken words & the un-spoken feelings. We may work hard all life to get Ferrari with our strict conditions and rules but in this process we may alienate the people who love us.  We will show our Ferrari to all our friends & relatives but deep within we will be poor.

Some time back I read an article about a lady in china. She had her own share of failures in life.  Her college mates had planned a get together, invited her also.  She was not ready to face her old friends with her failures in life and relationships. She put an ad in one of the Chinese social networking sites.  She was willing to spend a night with anyone who had a BMW and willing to accompany her for the function. Her social rating would have soared for one night when she goes out with her rich boyfriend driving a BMW. Will she get real happiness by that show –off? Deep within, she will be cursing herself. She was faking happiness.

Even though most of don’t go up to this extend but aren’t we doing the same at some level? We are saying no to small happiness because our social rating conscious ego doesn’t allow it.
These are some of the real life questions which I heard from few of my friends and relatives. I cannot disclose the names or identity but all are real ones.

• How can I be in a job which pays less than my friend who was not intelligent as me?  The job will be the most suited for us with satisfaction and mental piece but no we have to get ahead of our buddies to show our salary slip. In new job we may lose our piece of mind but who cares… our ego wins.
• How can I marry someone who is not as handsome as my best friend’s husband? How can I marry a person who doesn’t have the physique of a model to which my sister was married? 
• I studied up to BTech; how can I marry a mere Software Engineer in India when my colleague’s sister who had only a mere undergraduate degree married a team leader with L1 visa!!!
• How can I live in a 2BHK flat when my subordinate just purchased a 4BHK flat? 

What are we trying to prove – that we have a better salary; that our partners are better looking with great physique & intelligence. We are faking happiness sin front of our friends, sisters, brothers, relatives, subordinates but deep within we are hammered every second. We regret the wrong decisions we took but we don’t have the courage to rectify that.  We live a life of misery and unhappiness only because our ego didn’t allow it. Our ego may win but we will lose in this race.

Pause for a second, look at you, the life you are living. Are you happy with it? Adjust your conditions to allow love and happiness to prosper. Open the doors & windows. Let happiness come and embrace you.  You may not win the ego race but you will win the life’s race.

P.S.: When i was writing this article i saw a very good image in Facebook. I have attached it to the article. I Hope it it royalty free.

Are you happy?

Happiness is a state not a destination. We all have a misconception that if we achieve certain things in life we will be happy. We are always preparing to be happy rather than be happy. We say that if I get good education then I will be happy, then we hunt for a good job, then we say that if I buy that house I will be happy; if I get married to that superstar I will be happy. The list doesn’t ends here. You will start worrying about your children & their future also. Every day of your life you will have something to worry.

All these achievements are good but they cannot guarantee your happiness if you don’t change. Happiness is within you, you cannot find it outside.

There is a famous story about a common fisherman. Our guy was resting near seashore taking a nap. A business man in suits and tie comes and starts asking questions.

Businessman: “Why didn’t you go fishing today?”
Fisherman: “Yesterday I caught enough fish. Today I can rest and enjoy my day”
Businessman:”If you had gone fishing today, you would have caught more fish”
Fisherman:”Why should I catch more fish? I already have what I need”
Businessman:”With more fish you will have more profit and more savings. With more savings you can buy your own boat. With more profit you can buy more boats and become a successful person”
Fisherman:”What will I get from this success”
Businessman:”When you are successful you will be able to enjoy life more. You will be happier. You will be able to come to this seashore to relax more often”

Hearing this our fisherman smiled and said that he was doing exactly the same; enjoying his life, he was happy & he had enough time to spend on that beautiful place.

Like that businessman we are in pursuit of imaginary happiness.

The key to happiness is to accept the way you are. You are always special. It is our ego which says that we are good for nothing or that we are bad. You are a miracle, a living being, capable of communicating your thoughts and feelings. Open your eyes and see the blessings you have. Stop worrying about the things you don’t have.  You should still work to improve your life but that shouldn’t happen at the expense of ignoring your family & friends.  Enjoy every day of your blessed life.

• To be happy you don’t have to be perfect
• To be happy you don't have to be loved by everyone
• To be happy you don’t need all your dreams to come true
• To be happy you don’t have to meet everyone’s expectations
• To be happy you don’t have to be always good
• To be happy you don’t have to  hide your emotions and feelings
• To be happy you don’t have to be the smartest and richest person
• To be happy you don’t need a perfect figure or body
• To be happy you don’t have to compete with anyone.
• To be happy you don’t……

The list is very big… you can email me the rest of the items, I will add to the list.

To be happy let go your ego, open your arms and embrace the life. Accept the life as it is. Accept the real magic in you. You are a miracle. You are special. You are beautiful.

Continue reading the second part : Faking happiness: Show-off or real? http://zoomview.blogspot.in/2012/09/faking-happiness-show-off-or-real.html

Just start walking…

Life is a journey through dark. Very often we wait for sunlight hoping that it will remove the darkness from our life. With sunlight, life will be very easy, we can see everything; we can move forward at a great speed but in reality sun doesn’t come very often.

In the darkness even if we get a candle we can move forward. We may struggle but we will reach our destination. But almost all of us are waiting at same place waiting for the sunlight.  Show courage, have that leap of faith; grab the candle & light it. Life will be full of struggles but you will move forward. You will not be stagnant. When you reach the destination you will be happy with yourself.

Tiny footsteps will make us happier than a giant leap. Believe in yourself, take that small step forward. Darkness will vanish from the light of your soul. Just start walking…

Tip of the day: Be kind – lead a meaningful life

Our life is full of stress with deadlines, high expectations and imaginary success ladder. In this race we often lose ourselves, our values and principles. Getting a high paid job, getting married to your dream boy/girl, having a big car and house might not lead to a satisfied life. Even getting famous with your face in newspapers, TV news etc will not make you happy.

 Our life is made of many days, the series of small acts we do everyday makes our life. You don’t have to perform miracles to make your life happy. Just do the small acts of kindness everyday and it will add up to become a great legacy. Enrich every person who passes your way; touch them in a positive manner. Make at least one stranger smile with your effort. Pray for them. Do small things with great passion and love. It is more meaningful than doing big things without passion and love.

Be sincere in your relationships. Go that extra mile for your loved ones.

Pray for the soul – the physical appearance, beauty will change or destroyed but the mental beauty of your soul will remain with you.

Be kind and lead a meaningful life.

Tip of the day: Ask for what you want

“He who asks may be a fool for five minutes, He who doesn’t is a fool for a lifetime” – Chinese proverb

No one ever got anything without asking. It is the fear of failure that prevents us from asking. If we ask we may not get what we want but if we don’t ask we will never get what we want. You will have to act and stop merely wishing. Event the mightiest of the animal like Lion has to get out of his den for hunting. If he is lazy he will die of hunger

Every arrow that hits the bull’s eye is the result of one hundred misses.

Practice makes you perfect. Start the art of asking and you will get more than what you have asked 

Tip of the day: Negative energy

Tip of the day:You should develop your mind to be receptive of good ideas. Never waste your energy in negative thinking. It will drain the life out of you. There will be ups and downs in life. Life is not a smooth road. The world is not fair, it never was & it never will be.

You should do your duty passionately with love. I am not saying that you shouldn't expect any positive result for your labour. You should surely expect but the world doesn't stops if you fail. 

World remembers only the last success you had, they will easily forget the 999 failures you had before. If you fail try once more. The only thing you have to worry is your self conscious. Can you look into the mirror and say that you did your best and that you didn't hurt anyone intentionally? Then whatever may be the end result you will never fail in your own eyes.

You may lose few battles but you can win the war :)

Why worry

Why worry about the things you can change. You will solve it.

Why worry about things which you cannot solve. No worrying will solve it, you will only create more problems in life.