Sunday, December 13, 2009
Acid attacks – by the devils from hell
Monday, December 07, 2009
Dec 3: Hope or tragedy?
Sunday, December 06, 2009
The dilemma of bachelorhood – III: My marriage - To be, or not to be
Thiruvalluvar: an ideal person to emulate in grihastha ash-ram
When the sanyasi’s came visiting, Thiruvalluvar was taking cold rice. He said to his wife: "Vasuki, the rice is very hot. Bring a fan to cool it". Thiruvalluvar’s wife was drawing water from the well when Thiruvalluvar called her. She at once left the rope and ran to him with a fan to cool the rice. Sanyasis thought that Thiruvalluvar has gone insane; the rice was cold there was no need of fan. The vessel that contained water was hanging half-way in the well unsupported, on account of her Pativrata Dharma Shakti. Others noticed this phenomenon and the noble conduct of Vasuki and were simply struck with amazement.
The couple achieved the highest level of wisdom and divine knowledge through their devotion to each other. This is an ideal couple which we can emulate in our life
The dilemma of bachelorhood – II – Marriage
Confucious had a wonderful definition “Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain “
The history of Marriage goes even beyond the ancient times even before the first history chapter was recorded. Even during the time when the Human race was evolving from the primates we can find the natural evidence of first marriages. (There was no part, church, temple or feast). The marriage arose from the primeval needs of human species. It legalized the access to women so as to reduce the competition within the clan. Over a period of time, the beliefs, the principles, the customs and rituals associated with the marriage has evolved. In ancient times no specific ceremony was required. Only the mutual consent of the people getting married was required. It was simple. But soon it became the most complex of all. There was no middle men or religion involved. It was a promise a trust between two individuals.
In many societies it soon became a business/political or economic arrangement. The consent of two people, love or affection was not considered. Marriage became a tool to expand the pride & power of man. The freedom which women got was curbed. It was soon replaced with a false sense of pride & accomplishments. In some places people had to pay marriage tax to marry the person they like. If we turn back our history book, we can find many instances when helpless women had to marry against her wish for the pride of her family, to protect her kingdom from the more powerful kings. Some even didn’t get this respect. Many had to live as concubines of the powerful. Some society practices polygamy. But I feel this is against the basic nature of human race. I don’t remember where but I had read in some scientific article that a person can live peacefully, take care of the emotional & physical need of only one person.
Around 1700 the process of process of registering the marriage was introduced in Europe. Rest of the world soon followed suit.
In the modern society marriage is foundation on which our culture & civilization stands. Marriages are formed to reproduce (not always). It is the evolution of next generation from the parent, the passing of the genes to the next generation. It is the cradle of wisdom and love in which the children acquires the skills to live a successful life ahead. (it is unfortunate that there are millions of children on streets or even in many homes who haven’t seen the power of love or family). All the religions give high importance to marriage & consider this as a sacred union of the two souls & God.
There are some bad customs/practices like dowry, child marriage, polygamy still associated with it. Our education teaches us how to create spacecraft, to become a doctor or engineer but it doesn’t teach us to live in family, on how to spread love & happiness or to react against these evil customs. Throughout we can see the erosion of the core values like mutual respect, individualism, sincerity, affection from this sacred bond.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
The dilemma of bachelorhood
Society always had a different attitude towards us. They believed that bachelors are good for nothing & always invited trouble with them. For all those uncle and aunts whose views are different - we are not drunkards, party animals, living on junk foods. We also go to churches and temples (In fact some years back my day begins with the mass at a nearby church & then the pooja at the temple). We are not always looking out for girls. In
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesdays with life
“As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on—in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.”
We must love one another or die
------------------------------------------
I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
and darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night.
Accurate scholarship can
unearth the whole offence
From Luther until now
That has driven a culture mad,
Find what occurred at Linz,
What huge imago made
A psychopathic god:
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.
Exiled Thucydides knew
All that a speech can say
About Democracy,
And what dictators do,
The elderly rubbish they talk
To an apathetic grave;
Analysed all in his book,
The enlightenment driven away,
The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.
Into this neutral air
Where blind skyscrapers use
Their full height to proclaim
The strength of Collective Man,
Each language pours its vain
Competitive excuse:
But who can live for long
In an euphoric dream;
Out of the mirror they stare,
Imperialism¹s face
And the international wrong.
Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
who have never been happy or good.
The windiest militant trash
Important Persons shout
Is not so crude as our wish:
What mad Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.
From the conservative dark
Into the ethical life
The dense commuters come,
Repeating their morning vow,
"I will be true to the wife.
I'll concentrate more on my work,"
And helpless governors wake
To resume their compulsory game:
Who can release them now,
Who can reach the deaf,
Who can speak for the dumb?
All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.
Defenceless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages;
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.
-- W. H. Auden
Monday, September 21, 2009
Welcome to Bundelkhand; Hot market for wives, daughters
Sunday, August 23, 2009
My birthday celebration
Sunday, August 09, 2009
It started out as a feeling
The reason I would die for
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Love is ....
Friday, June 19, 2009
Love is....
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Elephant Whisperer...few things about family which elephants can teach us
I read this article in The Hindu.. it was such a great one that i thought i should share this with all others.
I have heard about such close knitnedness but this was great. I wished I could also do something like this. Belong to a family which cares and supports all members. We human don’t have the common sense for this. We have our ego before us, hurting each other. Why cant we talk and understand before coming to a conclusion. Now a days we are so much wired that we don’t have time …..for anything ..
http://www.hindu.com/2009/06/15/stories/2009061555240900.htm
Lawrence Anthony’s eyes mist over as he remembers the moment he met his ready-made family for the first time. “They were a difficult bunch, no question about it,” he says. “Delinquents every one. But I could see a lot of good in them too. They’d had a tough time and were all scared and yet they were looking after one another, trying to protect one another.”
From the way he talks, you might guess that he was talking about disadvantaged children; in fact, it’s a herd of elephants. And not just any herd of elephants either, but a notorious, wild herd that had wreaked havoc across swathes of KwaZulu-Natal in South Africa, and were now threatened with being shot. “I was their only hope,” says Anthony, 59. “There were seven of them in all, including babies and a teenage son. But the previous owner had had it up to here with them — they’d smashed their way through every fence they’d ever come up against.”
Anthony knew his plan was risky — “angry elephants are very dangerous animals if they don’t like you. You can be hamburger meat in seconds” — but his children had grown up and left home and he and his French wife, Francoise, had space on their game reserve, Thula Thula. When they were approached by an elephant-welfare organisation, Anthony, a respected conservationist who made world headlines in 2003 when he flew into Baghdad to rescue the animals from Saddam Hussein’s zoo (an episode of the South African-born environmentalist’s life that is being made into a Hollywood movie), knew he couldn’t refuse.
Beyond wildest imagination
Today, 10 years on from the moment the herd arrived, he says — in another echo of many adoptive parents — that the difficulties of the job were beyond his wildest imagination.
“It’s been a hundred times harder than I’d thought,” he says. But he could not have foreseen how much a bunch of troublesome tuskers would teach him about family love and loyalty. “The care these elephants shower on one another is astounding,” he says.
From the start, Anthony — tall, bearded, tanned and clad in khaki — considered the elephants part of his family. “We called the matriarch Nana, because that’s what all the children in the Anthony family call my mum,” he says. “The second in command, another feisty mother, we called Frankie after Francoise.”
As with human adoptions, the early days were especially tough. Nana and her troupe weren’t called the most troublesome elephants in Africa for nothing: every morning they would try to break out of the compound where they were living. Every day, Anthony, in a gesture that many parents who have had to deal with difficult kids will recognise, would do his best to persuade them that they shouldn’t behave badly, but that whatever they did he loved them anyway, and that they could trust him. “I’d go down to the fence and I’d plead with Nana not to break it down,” he says. “I knew she didn’t understand English, but I hoped she’d understand by the tone of my voice and my body language what I was saying. And one morning, instead of trying to break the fence down, she just stood there. Then she put her trunk through the fence towards me. I knew she wanted to touch me — elephants are tremendously tactile, they use touch all the time to show concern and love. That was a turning point.”
MatriarchalElephants are matriarchal. Anthony’s herd consisted of a group of mothers and their pre-adolescent young. Within the group, the matriarch has absolute authority.
“Whatever she says goes. If she wants to turn left, they turn left. If she wants to walk for 100 km, they walk for 100 km. Watching her made me understand what family means — her behaviour taught me that wise leadership, selfless discipline and tough unconditional love is the core of the family unit. I learned how important one’s own flesh and blood actually is when the dice are loaded against you. Nana would do anything for the family she led: she expected to be obeyed, and she was, but she was very, very careful about where she led those she was responsible for.”
Her acceptance of Anthony meant that the other elephants followed suit, which was life-saving for both him and Francoise a few days later when they unwittingly came between Frankie and her babies. She charged — “and let me tell you, an elephant charge is the most magnificent, and also the most terrifying, experience life holds” — and only broke off when she was seconds from obliterating them. “If Nana hadn’t shown Frankie she could trust me and shouldn’t hurt me, we’d certainly have been crushed to death.”
Frankie’s defence of her young was typical: an elephant mother’s devotion to her children is, Anthony believes, unparalleled in the animal kingdom. He tells a heartbreaking story about how another of the herd, Nandi, gave birth to a daughter whose legs were deformed. Despite the danger of lions, and the heat, Nandi remained with her for two days, supported by Nana and Frankie, all three taking turns to shield the baby from the sun. Time after time, they tried to lift her with their trunks so she could stand. “Watching Nandi made me realise how much a real mother cares. She was prepared to stand over her deformed baby for days without food or water, trying right until the end to save her, refusing to surrender until the last breath had been gasped.”
LoyaltyThere were many other lessons in family behaviour, too. Frankie, the feisty aunt, showed time and again what loyalty meant. “She’d have laid down her life for them in a blink, no question, and in return, the others gave her their absolute love and respect. And the way Frankie raised her young, Marula and Mabula, showed me first-hand what good parenting can achieve despite adverse circumstances. These beautiful, well-behaved children are what we in human terms would call “good citizens”. They saw how their mother and aunt treated me, and in return accorded me the respect one would give to a distinguished relative.”
Reciprocal exchangesToday, the Anthonys are so close to their elephants that on occasion they have almost had to chase them out of the sitting room. Anthony’s guiding principle has always been that if he respected them, they would respect him. Exchanges between him and the elephants have often been reciprocal, most movingly when Nana’s son Mvula was born, and she ambled forward out of the bush, days after the birth, to show him off to the man she now regarded as a close kinsman. A few years later, after Anthony’s first grandchild, Ethan, was born, he repaid the gesture. “Mind you,” he says with a laugh, “my daughter-in-law didn’t talk to me for a long time afterwards. There I was, holding her tiny, days-old baby, walking towards a herd of wild elephants. She didn’t imagine I’d go so close — but I knew we were safe. The elephants were so excited — their trunks went straight up and they all edged closer, intensely focused on the little bundle in my arms, smelling the air to get the scent. I was trusting them with my baby, just as they had trusted me with theirs.”
Respect for the elderlyThe elephants’ respect for the elderly herd members is something else human beings could learn from, says Anthony. “Old elephants tend to get dementia and are very slow. But the young treat them with the utmost respect and devotion — when an elderly relative can’t scrape the bark off branches to eat any more, his sons and nephews lead him to marshes or swamps where the leaves are softer. When he’s too weak to stand, they guard him to protect him from lions or hyenas.”
This week, Anthony flies home from London, where he has been promoting his new book, to South Africa and Thula Thula. He knows that Nana, Frankie, Nandi and the rest of the gang will be waiting for him at the gate — they always seem to sense when he’ll be back. These days, they are as much there for him as he is for them. Adopting a herd of wild elephants might have been the biggest risk he ever took in his life but, against the odds, it has paid off. The conservationist who welcomed a herd of badly behaved elephants into the heart of his family has had his brave and bold gesture returned in a way he couldn’t have dreamed of: these days, he is as much a part of their family as they are of his. — © Guardian Newspapers Limited, 2009
The Elephant Whisperer by Lawrence Anthony with Graham Spence is published by Pan Macmillan.)